The fifth day in this Company, I still don't feel settled.
I thought, sitting in my own private room in my old offices, which is of course totally comfy, is a relationship barrier with officemates. An invisible wall. But perhaps I was wrong. I used to easily warmed up within few days with my new found colleague.
I thought now sitting in a low-rise cubicle should speed up the ice breakers within few hours. Hell no! Right next to me, there's a cute mat salleh guy(Superman, he's just cute, but totally not my type..don't worry). He came in the office yesterday after his offshore duties. And now, after one and a half day, both of us never said a word to each other. Both didn't know each other's names. I don't even know what he's doing. This is bad. I blame it on my part too.
My brain was freezed. I couldn't recall names. I couldn't recall what their positions are. I can only recall their faces. OMG! And my mouth couldn't start a decent conversation. I feel like an idiot! I always imagine this very me right now, are the kind of people which has very low self esteem, thus, very shy and always sit at the far end corner or refuse to participate in social events. I am so not that kind of person. Well, at least as far as I am concern. Since when did I have this 'very low' self esteem?!! This frustrates me like nobody business. Its like a new kid trying to fit in a new school. I am not trying to be the popular girl. I just want to fit in nicely, without any drama.
But i'm lucky that most people here are very nice. I haven't seen nasty remarks been made about anybody yet. Still figuring out the social hierarchy and the office culture here. Maybe, it takes a cuppa coffe with my mates to extract the topics. It seems like they don't do gossip on the floor. That's very good!The girl that I'm taking over the place has been serving the project for two years at least, thus the most senior secretary. And i'm the greenest newbie. There's at least 15 more secretaries, I think? I wonder how I'm cut out for the role. Big change, big responsibilities indeed. But if i'm hired, means the Management trusts me so much aite? Whoaaa! Pressure is ON!