Thursday, October 29, 2009

If It Meant to Happen....

It will.

Tell you what..u can be very2 good wedding planner, you can have all your dreams played up in your head, and you go all the way to make it happen perfectly.

But shit always happens when you are less likely to feel its going to happen.
Like what happened to me yesterday.

At 4pm, I faxed to my canopy company office the list of songs to be played, according to the time cue during the event. Its a simple thing. I've prepared the Audio CD and labeled it accordingly so that there won't be any mixed up. They are just waiting to be passed to the DJ. Actual fact, the DJ should help me out in some part like burning the CD after I've given the MP3 files. But me being me, so baik and want it to be perfect, I willingly to do it on my own. Rest the case.

And, about 930pm, I received a call from their rep. The lady boss(B). Ouch..this doesnt sound good. Looks urgent. They had never called me at night.
So I picked it up.

B : Cik Mariam, I'm sorry to interrupt at night. But then I have to let you know, that the DJ told us he won't be able to take the job. He can't do like how you said in the fax.
Me(M): Hah?what?what did I said that he can't do?which part??
B : Well, he said that he can't play according to the cue. And he can't find the songs that you wanted.
M: What????!!!!!!!!!wait2.I'm confused. You said earlier before I book the DJ that he can play according to the cue. Just that we need to specify the timing, which I have stated clearly in the fax. And you said that in case he don't have the songs I should have my own CD burned for him. Fine enough I did that. Kan I wrote in the note that I have prepared the CD and I asked when should I passed it up. What the hell??!!
B: Tula , Cik Mariam, tadi we showed him that fax. Dia cakap he can't do it. He's scared he mixed up and played wrongly. And the karaoke songs you requested tu he can't find(or rather malas nak carik???!!!). He has alot of karoke CD. So kene carik sendiri.
M: Hey B, so what exactly he can't do?????!!I dah follow wuteva it is u asked me to do..and then suddenly u cakap tak boleh pulak skrg. I mean NOW??????!!! This is one week before do you know that???!! Don't you think I can't sleep peacefully now??
B: I'm sorry la cik Mariam. This DJ is not directly under us. We outsource him. So if he don't want to take the job, I can't force him lah. Sorry sangat2.
M: Hey what the hell which makes him think he can't do it. Its so simple. Play accordingly. I dah prepare CD2 tu. Dia play ikut my spec je la. Bukannye susah. Abis, are you saying he's the type who wants to work sesuka hati jek??Abis kalau orang kompang dia nak main gak lagu dia??!!!mesti la ikut cue! Takkan sesuka hati jek dia nak play lagu dia!

Bla bla bla bla....yada yada...
That was the first time I shouted at the vendor. I was at my boiling point.
You deserve it bitch!
I'm sorry if you say its not your fault. But IT IS coz I trusted you!
Who doesn't agree??angkat tangan! Berani la...;p

So guys. Hell kan? It is to me.
Now I have to find a new one. Pronto.I have one week to settle. A week which I'm suppose to be calm and smile. Happy. To avoid the pimples, wrinkles and dull skins caused by this kind of pressure. Am I sad? NO. I'm ANGRY!!!!

So now..who has contacts for DJ??
A well-equiped,nice, reasonable
one who is not as dumb and chicken as that ex DJ of mine??

Please..let me know ASAP.
Save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


ytday was an eventful day.
there's two highlights.
but i can only write one of the highlight.

after an appointment at bukit jelutong, it was already dark, maghrib time.
and the road was probably jammed all over KL.
So i called my aunty, Cik Jijah who's living nearby.
Voila, I got free dinner and one hour full of
'interview', lecture, and advice pertaining my wedding prep.
Suddenly, she announced she wanted to go to Kajang, my parents house.
And I was like, "Cik so you want me to go too??"
She said, "Ya, u r the host and I'm gonna talk about you."
At that moment i knew I have to cancel, my Gossip Girl 2-paper bags-eat-sleep
night to one hell of a discussion night with the family. Aiyark!!!
But really, thank God she came with my uncle last night.
They pointed things we forgot and didn't see it coming.
Phew...extra works+extra RM flowing out. lalalalalala!
Extra headache.

Today, I woke up feeling lethargic and super lazy to go to work.
I slept at 2am.
Sleeping late while watching TV is so much different than sleeping late
because your head was on overdrive thinking about serious issues.

I hope, in one week, the madness will end. Can't wait for the Big Day.
I hate the chaos in my life and mood swings because of that one
big beautiful important day.
But chaos makes my life has a purpose-->to end the chaos.
No chaos-->No challenge-->boring-->like my job now.ouch!
But, its too much. My face skin's acting up. Tiny2 pimples showing up.
Hate you pimples!

I want to go back n sleep n clean up my messy house.
Its not a house anymore.
Like a shop. Like a store.
My wedding stuffs are all there. All over the house. Rimas!

Monday, October 26, 2009

It Has Got to Be Beautiful


Its the most valuable thing in my life.

to all my friends...I love you.
to all my enemy...we used to be friends.
cherish our good times. coz i do.

In this peculiarly wierd moments in my life,
where everything is critically fragile,
I regain my friendship with my two beloved friends which
I almost lost them both in one year.
Beautifully, you both called me in the same day.
First long call after such a long time!
I guess we have outgrown our differences.
It has got to be beautiful.
To accept each other back in our one major thing.
It is so adult.
And above all, we know we love each other.

Thank you.
Thank you both of you.
You know who you are.
I pledge that I will be there for you when you need me like
how I need your soothing words at this moment.
Its the best gift for my wedding.

And I am sorry for all the wrong reasons we fought.

Mixed Emotions

I dont know why i'm suffering from this overtly sensitive heart.
Despite me being a Cancerian, is there any other valid reason?

Saturday, October 24, 2009


I'm feeling lost.
I'm feeling numb.
I read his msg this morning when i woke up..
And I cried real hard on the bed. My pillow was mapped.
Its really bad to be crying in the morning, first thing.
I have no energy to do everything.
I just want to curl inside my comfy blanket, contemplating my fate.

Just at that very moment, mummy called me on the cell.
She gave me strength.
Although she didn't even know.
Her voice just snapped me up.
I have other souls to be thinking about.
Thank you mummy. I love you.
Because of you and papa..things gonna be fine.

But then, just give me another 5 minutes to cry my heart out.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I'm searching for the best wedding cake topper.
All the time I've been dreaming to put these two characters up.
It represent us..Our alter ego. Nickname for each other.

But then..
Can it become a reality if they are wearing these???

me as Wonderwoman

and my fiance as Superman

Yeah looks like we love to flash our undies.hahahahahahah!
I bet the aunties especially the pious ones will look like they saw a satan on the cake.

so..i don't think so..

what else??

Monday, October 19, 2009

Wrong Date

Refer to the prev post.

Yes people..Its gonna b on


20.10.09 which is tomorrow.

I guess excitement blurred me. I thought today is already in November.
Which suppose to be...I'm already married.

Wut duh??

Twilight Fever!

Leap of joy!!

Twilight is showing its sequel, Twilight:New Moon
on 20.11.09. Which means TOMORROWWWW!
And it still features most of the characters frm the first sequel.
And of course...Pattinson is in!!!
I can't wait....but I don't know when it is showing in Malaysia.
Anybody knows?????searched thru all malaysian cinemas...but none came up??what??banned?

Everything Twilight, click here.

Rite Now

At this moment..2:04pm..Monday
I feel like going back to my crib..
have a nice shower..
Sleep for an hour or so..
And continue making the paper bags.

And have order-in dinner later..

And continue making the paper bags..

while watching Twilight again.

Sexy Love Story

I'm way too late to talk about this movie.
Pardon my faulty dvd player.
I had the dvd after its release and that was when the player having problems.
And I totally forgot about it until yesterday when Superman darling bought a new
dvd player and we picked a dvd to test it. Yeay!!

What movie???

ha ha ha ha

yes...Twilight the Movie...

And I'm way too late to watch it. Nevertheless, true to its rave reviews. It was awesome!!!
I watched it twice, back to back..and caused me to sleep at 2 am!
Everything about it I love.
Especially the part where he revealed his real self to his love and when they went to school, and, everyone was agape looking at them.
That was really cool. I imagined myself being the heroin. Oh....
Ya...she scored a real looker which every girl drools but he never cares.
Which girl won't feel proud aite?

And for the first time I really fell in love with the hero character.

Edward Cullen played by the wickedly handsome Robert Pattinson.

I just love the quiete demeanour.
I think I have always love those handsome+calm+quiete types.
They are like a mystery needs to be solved. And I wouldn't mind getting bitten by handsome sexy and also loving vampire like him. Ha ha ha..
I think I bad boys attracted me in a wierd way.

Actually I've noticed him since he played Cedric Greggory, in Harry Potter movie.
Even back then, I did feel like I'm going to see more of him. Proved ain't it?

I know..this sounds yucky..But hey world..
I'm just a normal human being. Err a normal girl.
Here it is screen crush.

Edward Pattinson.

Ha ha ha ha...!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009


I feel like running out of the office right now.
There's so little work to do.
Actual fact, i've completed all my tasks.
And thinking that I have so many things that I should be doing regarding my wedding,
I felt like I'm wasting my time here in my office.
Seriously, I wish I'm the boss now.

I forgot to blog about my recent prep.
About my dresses.

Last weekend, me n Cik Mas went to Nisa's house for my second fitting. the shape of the dress's fine. But the sleeves is giving us both the headache. It doesn't seem right. And I need more beadings on the chest. Its a very simple dress. Nothing extravagant. I might say its not exactly how imagined it to be..but its okay. And I'm still waiting for the price. Yeah, its not yet quoted. Praying hard it won't be out of my budget.

And on Monday, me, Superman, Kojack and Ofey, went to Dzull Classique for my traditional dresses fitting. My dresses was okay except needed to take off few inches here and there and to put in extra beadings.

Superman and his man of honour, Kojack, just sent their Baju Melayu for the Berinai session! Owh...guys will always be guys. Drag it all till the last minute. Luckily the tailor still can accept it. And when we were about to walked out, I asked them both what kind of baju did you they ordered?
Superman: Baju Melayu biasa la...the one with five buttons at the neck.
Me: What?????!!Its supposed to be Baju Melayu Johor!!
and...they mistakenly switched the fabric. Oh my god! Who am I marrying??
Kojack or Superman???
And the tailor, Abg Dzul had to re-measure them both according to the Baju Melayu Johor design.
And I felt like..Erghh...I can't describe the feeling..
Everybody was laughing mad. But I felt pissed..
I think my face contorted and transformed to a lioness!
I know I shouldn't be that hard on him.
But well, the diva in pressure was making its appearance.
I was pressured up the whole day.
So I guessed I couldn't contain anymore mistakes or carelessness.
Sorry Darling.

I felt that I became so much more sensitive.
And I havn't feel the 'debaran' bakal pengantin yet.
My mind is full of the preparation thingy.
I havn't got the time to check my feelings too much.

Superman is too busy.
Busier than ever.
Its critical time now.
But his work and study is taking up so much of his time.
Its hard.
I hate the fact that I can't call him up anytime that I want and expect
him to listen to me.
What's more to expect him to be there with me.
But I know he's doing it for me. For our future. TQ darling.
But being a girl,
I always need his attention.
Especially during these trying time.
Sometimes I question myself whether I'm such a nag.
I hope I'm not.
I think I'm not that bad.
But I wouldn't know.


p/s: I can't wait for this weekend to happen.
Hope it all goes well. Happy happy moments.

Thursday, October 15, 2009



the shopping madness has ended months ago.
i've got almost everything that I need.
nothing major purchases need to be made.
and i miss it so much..
you know, the impulses, the rush of adrenaline,
the excitement
in searching,
in finding,
in dreaming,
in paying,
in holding that new paper bag in your hand
that feeling.

i wish to buy another pair of shoe.
i have four wedding dresses.
but only 3 shoes.
thought of recycling one of the shoe.
but now i want to shop.
a shoes.
can i shop another wedding shoes?


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Accepting Whatever It Is

You know how it feels like when you hope, dream or yearn for something,
And turns out you can't get it? Or you have to compromise?
You know how sad, frustrated or angry it is?
And you have no power to change it?
What you gonna do?

Learn to accept.

It will not be easy.
But it is better than continuously feeling the pressure right???

And I am learning to accept.
And I can feel the burden lifting bit by bit.
And I'm feeling calmer.
Albeit frustration and sadness still looming.
And I still say..
"How I wish.."

Monday, October 12, 2009

Aku Serabut..

Yes...3 more weekends to go.

And I'm living in chaos.


I don't know how to describe it.

But it is insanely unbelievable something terribly important, at this very2 critical time went so haywire because of bad planning by the planners. Not my side. His side. I felt frustrated, angry, sad and worried. Pity Superman and family. This is what happen when people take it as only a job..not something personal for them to really care off. What was actually happening? hrmh...sorry I can't actually reveal it here.

I hope today will bring a better news than the last weekend.

My bridesmaids felt more 'seram' and more nervous than I already am. Luckily and thankfully they offered me the greatest comfort that I need right now. Kind words and happy thaughts when we were together..talking some other things about life than all about my wedding. Don't get me wrong. Its also a pleasure when people asked me how's my wedding preparation. I felt like you care. But if it was asked just to mess my head and downgrading me, get the hell out of my life. My mind is already messed up without your careless words.

Hrmh...Alot of things prior to the wedding didn't go as what we have planned.
Although some part of it was even better than the original plans. I think I could take it.
Because I always believe in "Expect the Unexpected".
Of course I prayed that the negative stuffs never occured. I wish I can say our wedding preparations went smoothly without any hiccups and blame anything went wrong to the vendors.. But I guess, it could be if money is never a question.
Quoted from Superman,
"Nak value Mercedes, bayar la harga Mercedes".
Yeah..yeah..that's a businessman talking about his too demanding client who want
superb service but bargaining with him for an insanely low price.
how many times did i use the word insane in this entry??

Ape yang penting..kerjaaasama!(mcm lagu Wonderpets)..hehehe..

Actually I wanted to say:

What's important is, we will belong to each other as
a legally married couple
on 7.11.09.

Insya allah!
Readers..please pray for us.
Love you.

Friday, October 9, 2009

What Will I Be After Getting Married?

Someone asked me.
So i asked myself.
It is still inconclusive.

What will I be next?
I think that question relates to all sorts of things.Like:
Home Location, Lifestyle, Economic Status,
Personal Preference, Determination?Eh?

And of course..Superman's consent.

Actually this is not recent.
I can't think straight and clearly at the moment.
I'll go ahead with the wedding+honeymoon first.

Then, I will dread to face the reality. My life.
I still can't see the situation for the next 5 years.
Except wanting to live dynamically as a loving married couple with him.

But I do have aspirations..dreams..angan2.
I'm not sure which to grab first.

Frankly. I havn't found satisfaction in my career yet. Do I have a career?? No.

Do I want to make my current job as my career. Can. But, without proper certificates, I won't go anywhere. I graduated as a Bachelor of Multimedia. Now I'm working as an Executive Secretary. Vast diversion ha?? I love for the fact it pays me well. More than the usual pay of a graphic designer with my years of working experience in design industry gets. But what next? Company secretary? Or forever an Exec?
Assisting my boss the very same thing over and over again everyday. Is that what I aspire myself to be forever?
I want to be the front runner. The one flying here and there. I just want to be better.

Someone said, I ought to run my own business.
But what?? Am not sure I have the capacity. But I know I'm creative.
Just that I'm afraid I'm not smart enough to be the boss.

Should I pursue my study? Study the things that I really2 wanted.
And hope to work as one. Something that I can really call a CAREER.
Something that I've been dreaming off since I was a little kid.
The course that I dream studying is usually full time, will take demanding hours
and energy to complete the course project .
Will Superman sacrifice for that??
Can I hold a full time office job to make sure the money still runs at least for my own?
Or can I do some small businesses that involves my creativity and quit my current job?
I don't feel good to burden him for my personal satisfaction.

Its too complicated to think now.
I wish I'm not this fussy, too ambitious, and just follow the tide.
Swim wherever it brings me on its own pace.
I'm like a piranha, racing for the food.
Waiting is painful.

Congrats to Bai to finally made the decision to continue her study.
Also to Ninie for relentless studying this and that.
And also to those who follows their heart desire and
being very strong to sacrifice their money, time, energy and young age
to find something they truly desire.
May your wishes comes true.
And may Allah gives me the determination too and help me control
my careless loving of sweet nothings which left me unsatisfied in the end.

Note to myself:
Mariam, you better be true to yourself.
Work hard and smart. Build your glorious life now.
Stop kidding yourself!!!

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Hey ya peeps..

Due to my slipped disc condition,
I decided to sell off my NEW beautiful leather Sergio Rossi shoes.
I felt torn actually.
Yeah its suppose to be for my hantaran gift. But I can't wear it.
I bought them at SHUZ KLCC before I was diagnosed.
I've never worn them except to try it out.
(of coz le untuk hantaran kan!)
But I think that's for the best.
Please spread the words about it.

click on the pic above to have a better view

I have a pair of big feet for a Malaysian!
Size :US 9.5 , UK 6.5
Heels : 10cm/4 "
Body : Non-treated Genuine Leather

the original price is this:

click on the pic above to have a better view

but I' m selling them for only
RM 1300 incl shipping!
can pay up to 2 times payment.

hope i can find a decent buyer.


comment to know more.
leave your email/ym
or email me at:

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Exactly One Month today, it is exactly one month left before My Wedding.
Wish me luck:)

keep loving me.
keep saying you love me with all your heart.
because its all I really want to know
each night before i fell asleep.
happy to know that I'll wake up
as a person who's being loved by you.


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

1st Panick Attack

My calm demeanour was shattered this morning.

While keying in my boss's schedule for the week in the in the Outlook..
I realized that...

Exactly 4 weekends.

bloody hell!!!

I seriously don't believe it!!!

Now I'm worried. I'm panicking!
I don't know what exactly..

But I think its a mixture of:

Unfinished business of:
2-hantaran deco
3-shopping hantaran stuffs
4-fitting and picking up the wedding dresses
5-renovation of the house-mcm tongkah pecah okay!aku marah tul ngan contractor ni!
6-non-moving planning of Superman's side due to ..bla..bla...can't say. secret!:(
7-well..the day hasn't come.
8-so, I'm not yet his legally married wife. Not yet!!

today is 6th OCT. tomorrow will b exactly one month to go.

oh oh oh!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

refer to num 6 issue..
Is it normal or is it overboard for a bride to worry about his groom's side planning?? Mummy said leave it to them. Its their business..
But my heart says..I am the bride..
Its OUR wedding.
Of course I want it to be as perfect as possible kan, no matter whose side??
Am i a Bridezilla??really??Am I being overboard. Am i worrying unnecessary things?
Am I too much to feel disheartened when my fiance decline my help
to settle some little things for his side ceremony??I almost cried.
Am I having PMS? No..I just had my period.
Help..I don't want anybody to think I'm nuts.
I just wanted to help.
Hope it will all be okay.
Darling, cepat la tak busy. Uhuk!


Monday, October 5, 2009

Kisah Kawan2 Tak Ingat Kawan...

You know what, my friendship is one most treasured thing in life.
Jika mahu berkawan dengan saya biarlah ikhlas.
Sebab saya mmg sayang sangat kawan2.

Although I understand that not all friendship are meant to last.

After graduating from colleges and universities, my school buddies became closer(thank you mcm dah sucks jek??) and when it comes Raya time, we organized visiting convoys..(nape cam tiap2 tahun org sama jek ehh, lain2 mana??). So of course all the old and new stories and gossips was talked about.

Some of pressing issues are;

1. Forgetful friends.
Okay, how bad is your brain at this age ..when a name of your batch mate was mentioned..and you could not recognize??

And, how bad it is when you saw someone but you can't recall the name but you remember the face??

How cant recall the name AND the face alltogether?? And badly enough, that person remembers your name AND/OR your face???

Yes I admit I am really bad at remembering names. Seriously. But not the face. Unless you do a plastic surgery on your God given face. Public apology from me if I can't remember your beautiful names if we see each other next time. Close will not suffer from this ya.. I'm talking about..those who I really rarely meet and communicate.

One of my good friend, E, told me this sickening story of her best friend, F, during secondary school year. You know those friends who were always together in everything?? So, when they all went to different colleges each found a new life. But E always remember her and found her on FB. So she said hi and expected her to reply accordingly. Instead she asked 'Who are you?'. F is already living in Dubai and married her love who is also her classmate. Which of course E knows very well. And there were few bouts of reliving the memories of F about E. The thing is..F couldn't remember anything at all. And E got pissed off because she couldn't phatom the fact that F no longer remember her, at all! Surprisingly, E's image and physical is still the same as it was before. Except she now wears lipstick.

Its a sad story really. Its not even twenty years since we left school. If I were E, I'd delete her from my friend's list. You know what, its still okay if you don't remember the name..but, to not remember anything at all including your close friend's face is terrible. So people, reopen you yearbook. And try to remember the faces and hopefully the names.

2. Drastic changing of personalities/body/gf/bf/scandals/economic status???
Okay...this is another taboo but fun gossip story.
"You know what, X brought her scandal to the wedding party of A. But she was still courting his bf that we met last year!"

"I met D last week at TESCO. My god, he's fat! He was so GQ bod when we left our school aite??Whatever happened to him?Heart broken??!


and some even daringly said face to face like..
"Apesal ke gemok sangat oiii!!!!!Ko nak kawin ke tak ni??"..oh okay, this I got it myself. When I'm in a good mood..I wouldn't mind..I would have joke about it too. But what if I was having PMS or simply I was in a really bad mood. WTF kan?? You wouldn't want to mess around with me! gemuk takleh kawin ke?? It would b nicer and more matured by asking how your friends doing rather than ridicule her/him in front of others, rite???

ape lagi ek...

"Eh..ko tak keje tapi still duk mewah2..ko ade sugar daddy yek?yek??" WTF la..have you ever heard home based business..MLM..stock funds...or lottery(oh yg ni haram untuk org islam yek!)?? You know what, just because a lady does not work in the office, doesn't mean they can't find money, legally and halal yek..sometimes, office ladies pon ade jugak sugar daddy kan..ooops, no pun intended.Oh btw..guys pon ade gak yg hidup sbb ade sugar mummy. So fair la..No gender is better than the other.

I think that's all about this issues that I can think about.

Be careful of wuteva you do, say and body language when you see your friends and relatives especially during this hari raya. What's the purpose you shaking your hands with them, XOXO and say maaf zahir batin but later on you makes them feels sad or angry , all in one occassion? Some people really take it to the heart.

A LOT of Stories....

1. I had a major blood pressure problem.
Not high bp
But low bp.
Its always like that. But last week, it was so bad, that makes me have fever and headache at the center of my head. No joke man..It was terrible. Took two days MCs.
The doc gave me some meds. One of it smells like cat's pee. Hancing!!! I think that's the best since I got better after two days of taking it. But seriously..I dread it with all my heart. YUCKS!!!

2.My florist made a visit to my house.
Yeah, the lovely 2 friends of mine, Ninie and Winnie finally made their way to my 'under construction' house last Friday night to get the vibe of the house and measurements of the stairs. On Thursday, I will join them to the flower supplier to pick the blooms on my own coz I am terribly fussy. Luckily they are my friends and layan je laaaahhhh!! hehehehe..

3.Have you ever heard of 'Lintasan'??
The event happened to my papa on Friday. He was getting ready for Friday prayers at nearby mosque, when suddenly, he felt so cold and his body was shaking right after even after switching off the fan and wrapped his body with thick blanket. He went to sleep and woke up about two hours later. My mom who saw him staring blankly to the space, panickly asking him whether he was okay. He didn't respond. And after awhile, he said, "Nak sembahyang Subuh". She frantically called my brother and they drove to our family clinic at Kajang, while he still stared blankly. My brother had to lugged him into the clinic. He didn't respond to my mom when she asked him to get down from the car. While waiting his turn, he vomited. Then only he realized where he was..he didn't remember at all everything that happened previously. The doc gave him a jab, and he went to sleep untill the next morning. He woke up so early, fit as fiddle and asked my mom what she wanted to eat. Eh??!

My mom said, it looks like he got 'lintasan', a situation when spirits a.k.a ghosts, became angry when we accidentally disturb their place. Eh??Is it?? Where did my dad went??Wasn't he just at home before the incident happen? Is my house ..a ghost house???huwaaaaa!!No Mariam, think positive!

4. My wedding gift containers has arrived!
It is cute! Won't reveal it yet. Clue:Traditional:)

5. I think I don't really mind to be a chubby bride, because my Superman is wayyyyyyy chubbier! AHAHAHAHA!
Frankly, everytime I feel like dieting there's always stumbling points:
-my back pain
-food laden parties
-my low bp sickness
all requires me to eat this and that.

Therefore, I almost give up by now to be a slim, sleek, gorgeous bod bride.
Getting slim is very pressuring. What's more my with wedding is in
1 month and 2 days?!
The worriness will appear on my face. Its bad..really bad.
Now I need to be calm.

I'll be happy to be a chubby gorgeous bride.

(with curves)

Who says you can't be gorgeous when you are a tad fatter then what you used to be during your glamorous days??
or rather when you first met The One??
Right makeup..right hair..right dress..right accesories.
That's all you need.
Oh yes..also..
the right attitude and the right smile.:)

this is not a denial. this is the reality.

That's all for now people. I want to eat some chocolates.
My boss is on MC.