What Should I Do Now?

This week, my life's not short of happenings. Some are superb, while others are downright frustrating and confusing. Causing dilemmas again and again.

I came to realize, I hate HR/admin/Accounts job. Well I guess its not in my genes. I'm bad at maths. And then I hate anything with numbers unless if it means i get more shopping spree on somebody else's account. And yes they are mostly, numbly, repetitive tasks. I can't wait for a new colleague to join our company next week and handle those matters. But my boss insists that I get to know the full set. I mumbled some words that start with the letter 'F' under my breath. Ha ha.

The starting of the week, I was busy writing cheques and balancing up the spreadsheets while also attending outside meetings. Came Wednesday, the excitement rushed in. I attended a dead serious property launch, filled up with serious bunch of top notch people in property industry around the region in the evening. Since I was suppose to attend a fashion event right after, I was already wearing a floral cocktail dress. It was acceptably different from the normal pencil skirt suit the other ladies in the hall were wearing. I accidentally provided them some eye candy. Ha ha. Power suits didn't give enough power eh? We arrived fashionably late at the opening of Miu Miu Boutique in KLCC. I wish I can give you all the feel of the event. Mingling with the socialites of Malaysia. Its not exactly my first brush of the glitzy world. But its exciting since now its part of my job. Something that I didn't get from my previous jobs since my ASTRO days. Too bad, I didn't bring my camera. But I'll update once I got hold of the pictures from my friend's camera. OK? ;)

Thursdays and Fridays didn't give much joys. I received bad news from Superman about his business. This year, is all about revamping the old us. New jobs, new house and new financial management. Its a mountain of hardship. Maybe this is a test from God. Its time to look down and search more meaningful ways in every aspect of our lives. Maybe we should just walk out from our safety net and jump into a new unfamiliar territory?You think? I pity Superman. Now that he's my husband, the responsibility is greater. Suddenly my never ending work issues seems small compared to his problems. 2010, make or break? I read in horoscopes reading in my few favourite magazines. It seems first half of the year Cancerians, will face difficulties in career and financial. Second half will bring a major change. I wonder whether to believe or not. Its all maybes..

My heart yearned for all sorts of wants. But its crazy to be doing all those things at the moment given the circumstances. I guess I'll be okay. We will be okay right Darling? I had worst experience at the start of my career. I still remember I didn't shop anything at all for more than 6 months as I barely had enough money for food, rent and commuter fare to work. It was hell to a shopaholic like me. Life was rough. And through perseverance, it was only a matter of time and luck before I had my big break. Alhamdulillah, I didn't have problems getting jobs. And luckily I met the right people at the right time all the way. My family was always there for me. Helping me in all ways they could, advising and motivating me. Cinta sampai mati!

Some people said to me that they want my job and jealous of my luck. Well, that was what I always say to those people I admire of. It seems like you will never get satisfied with what you have. I always want one or more level up. Not that I'm not grateful, but its just how it should be isn't it? If we can't see the flaws in what we have now such as job, how could we work harder? What is it for to work harder if there's nothing more you yearn for? Like a fatter paycheck, a bigger fancier car, a bigger house, 5-star vacations, bottomless cash...etc. Or else, if you are so contented, you will stuck in the same dead end job for god knows till when. But of course, its your personal choice. Which ever works better for you. As for me, my list of motivations keeps growing. Some say its crazy to fulfill all of our fantasies. You'll always get tensed up thinking of your 'incomplete' list. I guess if you know where to put your limit and prioritize, it should be okay. Again, its your personal preference. Okay, now I'm talking in circles. Pardon me.

So what else should I blab about? You sure you want to hear more n more from me? Don't you feel bored already? Ha ha. Wait lah..till the next entry...next weekend. Have a nice day everyone! Muax.XOXO!

So What's Going On Now?

Okay, as i promised, am going to write a decent content today.

Basically what's going on with my life right now.

I joined a new company last 4th January. I wish I can blab a lot of good stuffs about it. But seriously, I havn't got much. Its a small company. To me small or not doesn't really matter but when the place you joined lack of staff, its somewhere somehow going to bother you. Especially when you hold a post like mine. When I joined, apart of me, the Executive Secretary and my boss( she's a local Chinese celebrity, socialite and the Group Strategist) there's a PA and a Marketing Director. And now, the Marketing Director resigned(his last day was Friday) and the PA went for maternity leave. And one Marketing girl was hired. Came in last week, on the day the PA went for labor. Oh god, now, I have to juggle out almost everything except marketing. The PA job includes HR, Finance and Admin. Imagine that I have to go out most days of the week with my boss for meetings and have to go back to office right after to settle the office jobs. Pretty tiring eh? What's more when your boss ain't paying your traveling expenses. That's another matter.

Its quite confusing really. I mean, the job prospects are pretty exciting. Its not boring at all. And my boss treated me well in terms of communication. Almost like friends but of course with the big R.E.S.P.E.C.T. I'm always tiptoeing on very very thin line. She's really delicate. You know the type of person who can yell at you on top of her voice because things are not how she likes, and laugh, smiling, hugging you the next second?? On a positive aspect, I get to follow her to glamorous launchings, meet notable famous people in various industries in Malaysia, and stumble upon great places that I never imagine myself will ever have chance to see with my naked eyes, let alone step on its ground.

The question now is, would you sacrifice in order to get rare, awesome, hard to get or rather unique work experience, while most part of your days are spent in tense mode, because your boss is like something in The Devil Wears Prada movie? I hope I will never label her as Devil. Because who loves to work with a Devil? Put your hands up!Ha ha. But yes, if you are wondering how my work is like, its like the PA of the Devil. Plus, I have to do extra job(i.e the admin, HR and Finance job and get to know all the company products, with perfection!)

I just wish that, my boss will be kind enough to sponsor my Blackberry AND the monthly bill, my traveling expenses or at least my parking allowance. After all they are for work purposes aite? Damn, my money is smaller now! How can you tell your boss this stuffs without sounding too demanding? How to make her feel its totally reasonable??(I heard she's stingy). SHOULD I WAIT UNTIL MY 3-MONTHS PROBATIONARY PERIOD ENDS????

SO what's going on with my life besides work??

I always regard myself as an INDEPENDENT girl. Right after university, I chose to live on my own, renting with friends. But now, I moved back to my parents house. Yerp! Something that I never thought of doing after so long, especially now that I am married. Since we are selling our Kemuning house, and we had to give up our rented house right about the same time, we became nomads. Stayed with my in laws for about two weeks or so. And one very hard day at work I felt like having my mom cook for dinner and sleep at Kajang house for the night. I just felt very strenuous after seeing blue garbage bags and duffel bags became our wardrobe at Superman's sister's house. And I didn't know where my jewellery was. You know, I am very attached to my clothes and jeweleries. So so sad! That night I felt so much calmer. Slept peacefully on my newly bought king size bed. The next morning, I decided to tell my dear Superman, that I don't mind to travel so far from Kajang to Damansara everyday if that is what takes to have calm after work hours and a decent big wardrobe for our stuffs. Furthermore, its free! So we transfered our stuffs to my mom house during the weekend. Second weekend of January 2010.

Now we are looking for another property to call home. Perhaps by the time our money rolled in,, in about 3 to 4 months time, we already found the house. We argued alot where and what kind of property to buy. We have a very different taste. That what makes us not bored of each other. Consistently trying to figure out what's the best decision. He loves landed house while I adore condominiums. He loves trucks, I love sedan. Funny eh?

Tomorrow will be another Monday of January. I'm keeping my hopes high for a better less strenuous, more exciting week. How about you?

Backdated

I found that many of blogger friends has somewhat not updating their blogs. Not sure why. Maybe out of procrastinating, too busy or simply doesn't feel like doing so.

I admit I myself was not actively updating my precious blog recently.

Never procrastinating. I am just busy. Sorry readers. Didn't mean to abandon you.

but again..

I have to stop writing for awhile. I can't start pouring everything right now or I will have to procrastinate my job and my boss will get upset and turns boszilla...so...i promise this weekend. okay??

Lately

Who says 2010 is an auspicious year?

NOT for ME so far.

And so as few of my love ones too. Be it career, money, relationship, etc. Nothing positive so far. They are either stagnant or going down. In my case, most of it in the middle. Deeply confusing. To the point no word can really describe. Thus, my blog became a blank note on most days.

Writing used to be an almost everyday pleasure. But now I came to realize, monotonous or confusing daily happenings, doesn't excite me to write. I will bore you readers like nobody business.

My new job, was my last hope of life with desire. At least for the 9-6 crucial hours, 5 days a week. But after 8 days of joining, I have yet to feel the full potential. But I don't regret leaving my old company. I might feel somewhat a pang of regret joining this new company. However, isn't it a tad too early to determine my future here? Will it be so easy getting a new one out there? I always ignore my instinct. Should I listen to it now??

Last night before we slept, suddenly we had this wierd conversation.
Superman: I missed our bed
Me: I missed our TV
Superman: I missed our problematic Astro controller.
Me: He he.
Superman: Nite...
Me:Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........


I need my own house where I know where my own stuffs are. I need a vacation. I need a shopping spree(on Superman budget). I need tiramisu cake from Delecious. I need a good massage. I need my cat Oren. I need to chill with my friends. Maybe those things can compensate my hard-to-figure job?Maybe..

Currently

Currently, I am doing a report of my job. Jack of all trade. Now you can call me architect..project manager..now I know what is 1 Gang 2 Way and T5 4ft are. And yesterday I learned types of hinges. So Diana, if you are reading this, HELP!!! Now I know a little bit of your language.la la la la..

Lots has been asking what is it like in my new workplace. The answer is, mixed emotion.

Yes, right now I am consistently in mixed emotion, be it in personal or working life. I'm in limbo. Very indecisive. I just want to feel comfortable. But every time I think of doing anything, it doesn't really goes well with others plans. I just hate to be regarded as selfish or ignorant. But how can I satisfy everyone blatantly? Am I not entitled for giving opinions?Am I not entitled of making my own decisions?

I'm tired. Things are not so well right now. Vacations or shopping spree won't get things done. It won't deal my angst or my sadness. Its about facing my issue like an adult. But how adult can you be when your voice aren't heard and disregarded. How?

2010 Wut??

When I'm writing this, my body is aching terribly. My lazy body was jolt with sudden heavy boxes lifting the past couple of days. In case you still not sure what I am talking about, hear this:

On Tuesday, my hubby decided to sell our new house at Kota Kemuning, Shah Alam simply because it is so far away from our workplaces. I'll be stationed at Damansara starting 4th January and he will be commuting to Setiawangsa. So, on Wednesday I informed my landlord that I wanted to continue renting until end of January while we try to find a new place to rent. Its two days before our tenancy ends. But what he told us then sent us to a frenzy. He already signed a lease with a new tenant and we have to vacate the unit by January 1, 2010! TWO DAYS!!! Okay, the thing is, we know its his bloody right to get a new tenant. But he never informed or check on us about it, until I was the one calling him. No courtesy call at all! What if we were not around and not ready to move out?What will happen to our precious stuffs?

Cut it short, yesterday, 1st January 2010, at 1130pm, I finally gave up the key and parking pass, reluctantly. We had to rent a room from the current tenant to store our belongings as we couldn't find our place yet. Two days..what do you expect? We went all over the town to view some condominiums. None match our expectations. During the 48hours, we had to count the minutes and divided it into house hunting and packing up stuffs. We slept with nightmares. On the eve of new year, we managed to have a break of 15 minutes, watching firework displays from our balcony. We could see splashes of colours as far away as Genting Highland. It was the most calming minutes.

Today, I'm going to take a break for awhile. I'm really tired. All that I could do is, to arrange appointments for house viewing tomorrow. My migraine is slowly creeping in. I can't even feel anything about starting my new job on Monday. My mind is in transition phase now. I don't know where should I stay next week. My parents house is too far away. Actually I just don't like to stay over at anybody's place. I need a home ASAP. I'd rather sleep at hotel. Its going to blow my budget. Surely. Not a wise decision eh??

Okay, I need to have some caffeine fix. Wish me luck ah...Love.