Thursday, March 17, 2011

It's My Escape

I have too many wants in this world, as what my sister said once. But you can't have it all.
I couldn't agree more.

At this moment, I just want peace. At workplace, at home, on the road, and in my mind.

Things got awry lately, unintentionally. My ex colleague kept telling me, "Chill lah! Pedulik kan je". My answer "How to lah?Everyday there's always somethin happen!"

Although I am not telling you what exactly happen, not a bit, I just want you to know, things are not really smooth these days. I am working very hard at office. Although I feel tired at times, I feel good inside. It's my escape from other parts of my life. Everytime I came back home, my back ached, my shoulders tight, my legs almost wobble, but it just feel good, empowered, and rewarding. Workaholic. But I am happy.

However, deep in my heart I worry what will happen to my marriage? How do I want to be ready to have kids soon? I know the clock is ticking. And my guilt is thickening. Guilty to dear Superman. I am too addicted with the rush of adrenaline. I simply can't imagine myself changing diapers. Not yet. Not yet. Oh, I am supposed to be maternal at this age, right?

Oh, just lets go back to work.