Do You Have to Say Something Everytime I Say Something?

Well as I am writing this, my heart is felt with remorse. I feel dumbfounded of what unapealing effort to ruin people's day by someone whom I am trying hard to think nicely about her. Like bringing issues with no valid ground just so people can see that she has something 'brainy' to say and trying very hard to make other people's ideas seems less 'brainy' than hers. What is it actually these kind of people want? Did she lack the attention she badly wanted?Or did she enjoy making people look stupid? I continue to wonder.

Dear Allah, bless me with the right guidance to walk through this thin path to successful career and life. Ease my fear, my burden and my negative mind so that I can clearly see what is the right answer in every decision need to be made. Oh Allah, my merciful God, protect me from all the bad influence so that I won't create enemies along the way and the love I received from you, family, husband and friends remains intact.Oh Allah, bless me all the way!

What Binds Love?

Today, I am not wearing my wedding ring to the office. Superman, pardon me please for I have completely forgot to wear it in the rush this morning. I feel naked. I hate this feeling. Like I feel naked for not wearing lip gloss since I left it too!

But really why do I have to feel naked? Like I am not married to Superman without it? Like I don't love him anymore? Like I am a single lady reluctantly? No, I am still married to him, I don't love him less, and majority of people that knew me knows that my marriage is still intact. All checked. Still, this feeling is firmly looming around.

No matter what I am a strong independent women. Only that, maybe, love turn me into this 'jell-o'...:)

What's Next in Life...

Reflecting on my last entry...

I am not pregnant. Got the answer on the same day as Mr Red Flag gave me a visit. What did I feel? Relieved? Yeah. Happy? Not. I am not quite sure. And since then Superman has this weird dopey grin when he saw babies, babies pictures, babies this and babies that. Oh baby baby baby baby.......I wonder whether a pair of big round eyes, looking at us and crying out loud to have her milk sucked from my suddenly augmented breast will be everything in this sacred union of our hearts?

Happy to hear dear Diana is becoming the Mak Long of BVians as what was quoted by Yash in her blog. And last week, Norzie, my university friend found out she's 4 months pregnant too. And also few others, which I couldn't recall who got knocked up first. Seems like everybody is getting knocked up! Hey you knocked up readers, congratulations! Take care and do let me know when your lil tots arrived in this world ya!

And yes, I feel weird. I'm half way towards our anniversary. But I am still in awe of wedding dresses. Don't you think its weird too?When will I ever get over with this wedding obsession??!

On recent Friday, I accompanied Superman to Kuching for his work trip. Well , besides pitying him, bored to death in between flights and meetings, I jumped to every opportunity to see the world! FOC! Who doesn't want that?Lol! With careful planning at work, I sent out my leave application form, hoping my very best that it will get approved. At the end of Thursday, I was running here and there, making sure all tasks was completely done before I went jet setting. Unfortunately, there was still some left, which I had to ask my colleague to continue only after my lovely boss whisked me away, afraid that I was not able to catch my flight. Love you Boss! It feels like a second 'unplanned' honeymoon. Quite a spontaneous trip since we only relied to our trusted GPS tor  tell us where the tourist attraction in Kuching. Tell you what, don't trust your GPS completely as we ended up visiting a jogger path in front of a school and swimming pool next to PTPTL college!We had a major laugh when we arrived at these so called tourist attractions. After hours of  false destinations, we went to one of the shopping mall, sipping Coffee Bean ice blended. Superman finally searched through WiFi internet, and that was when we found some real touristy places. Cut it short, we became the last visitor at Semenggoh Orang Utan Rehabilitation Centre. Another false info, of which we were told it closes at 5pm, whereas we were politely whisked away by the officer at 4pm. Well, it was almost dark. Its a jungle out there. Real natural habitat where the orang utans was not caged, wildly bred, and we humans are the intruder. It was cool that we managed to snapped few pictures and some insightful briefing from the ranger. I went there when I was in secondary and it was not much different. But now they put up some noticeboard to caution people of the dos and don'ts at the area. There was also images of orang utans attacks which scares me good! 

Eh no, not trying to scare you or making you to think that they are monsters. No they are not. A real wild orang utan, are quite shy and they are hard to be seen. They are almost impossible to find nearby the viewing and feeding areas. However, those that had the history of being kept in captivity or getting human touch are the ones which we should watch out. Although they are used to us, but they still have unexpected behavior. In a funny note, they were named like human such as 'Delima' and 'Annuar'!

I want to upload some pics for you to see but my laptop suddenly couldn't read my memory card. Until then, smile always! Please smile back when someone smiles at you. You just make life so much better. So smile!:)

Was Sick, But I had Cupcakes!

I took my first MC yesterday due to fever and headache. But by the time the clock hit 1pm, I was quite fine already and yearning to go out.

Therefore, Superman so baik, took me to Pavilion and we watch Backup Plan. I really didn't know the sinopsis of the movie. Just that, been awhile watching JLo the Bootylicious Latino acting. Last time, she had that movie..er..what was the name? aiyahh...forgot! You know, the one with his ex-fiance. And it was a flop. I thaught this time around it should be better, aite? No! Such an uninteresting movie but scared me to death to give birth to my future child! Damn it, its horrible and I felt sick. In the movie they have this crazy group of single proud mommies. And in one scene was at a house where they gather to assist and give support to a member who was giving birth in the water. You know, without the docs what not. Purely natural. No surgery to open up the vagina at all! Wow! Arggg! Nightmare!

And this brought me to the topic, about me and Superman and the topic of getting pregnant and such.Well, I am late TWO DAYS! And Superman, gave me the LOOK already! This morning, he hugged me with a cheesy smile plastered on his face.And another hand was put on my flabby belly.And I was like...Oh god....!!Last night he suggested that if I still don't get my period by today, he's going to buy me the test kit. I freaked out. Yes ladies and gentleman, I freaked out! You do understand why am I like this do you? Remember this story? If I am really pregnant, I would be happy. But I will still freak out!

My recent dream doesn't help too. In it, I already have a tiny baby. Not sure of the gender. I went out to shop something and it went on and  on until night time. And then I went back home and I forgot to feed my baby! Don't ask howcome I could leave my child at home. I don't even remember whether I have a nanny or not. Oh MY GOD!!

Now, can I be a good mommy???

What Did You Missed About Me ...recently?

Do you miss me??

I do..

I mean those times when I was freaking full of ideas and couldn't wait to write and tell all the world. I don't know myself these days. I stare and stare at the screen to write something really exciting. Guess what, I lied that I completely absorbed with my work. There are some good 10 minutes or so sometimes that I really2 wanted to write something, but not even a word moved my finger.Frustrated. I went reading other people blogs instead.

So whatever happened to me?Okay, just the important ones:)

First of all, I had my most anticipated day in June. Yeah people, my belated birthday and housewarming party which happened on 26.6.2010. Although my body was strained at the end of the day, running like mad woman, making sure everything from food to deco was in order, I couldn't have asked more. It was perfect to us although it has some imperfections. Like, I forgot to pump up the baloons(actually I misplaced them and couldn't find it at all, untill after I cleared up the house!). And almost everything except the deco was not done from my home. Lucky me, my mom could cook to cater for that day. I woke up early that day, just to buy flowers at Pasar Kajang. The theme was Orange+Yellow. After I brought them home, I realized, I don't even have a vase to put them in! So they ended up in a pail. What a waste!And Wiz managed to bake the cakes and muffettes on time, of which I had to pick it up myself since she was terribly busy with her other orders and Superman had to stay at the house to receive the guests(What???!! I had to pickup my own birthday cake???!Darn!Superman, next year I ain't going to slave myself for the cake again!:( ) This year, I planned my own party, to celebrate my eldest sister,SIL and nephew birthdays as well as the housewarming party. It seemed perfect! The mixture of our friends and family seemed like a tiny wedding to me.

My humble set up, due to the lack of baloons!

Crazily nice cakes!

Birthday boy+girls

My oldest friend. Since kindie!!Now she has a lil daughter, Ms Aina. 

But, the parents seems more kiddie than their own kid eh??

The party pack

The party people:) Azea, can get enough of the food! haha!

Just some of the flowers that I managed to squeeze in a lil bottle.Nice?

On Thursday the next week, I had to attend PAC, the final stage before the government decides whether you are fit to be working with them or not. Everybody was telling me to go. First of all, its a hard chance to come by. And if, only if, I succeed, I'll become one of the most highly respected government servant.With all the perks its a waste not to grab. Guess what, I couldn't make myself go!

And on last Friday, i planned a surprise birthday party for my dear boss. Complete with a big birthday cake made by Wiz! Everybody seemed like enjoying to the max with the food, candies and deco. It was a very hush hush thing. Imagine, about 100 of us, we were all crammed up in the 'huge' meeting room, in dark, while waiting for the Boss to enter. I was waiting outside. When he arrived I said something like "Boss, I need something from you. Lets discuss inside here" while I pushed open the door. And he saw his banner, and he said "Shits!" And, in a split second, his face was filled with bubble spray! What a relieved when it was all done. Again, I was lucky that mommy could cater on that day and I had some of my colleagues to help out.

I learned from all the parties that I have planned, its all about timing and budgeting. And always always have plan B. I wonder whether I should venture into party planning business shall the day came when I no longer enjoy office works. This adds up to my list : makeup, hantaran deco, baking, wall arts. What's next?

I guess that's all folks. I am still in office. I want to go back. There's still few work stuffs stacked up on the table. But I don't care. Today, I am bloody tired. Yesterday, I stayed up until 9pm, having Dominos pizza dinner at my cubicle while my eyes was on the screen and one hand typing(oops, kantoi I ate with my left hand!erk!)

So adios! Merci!

Its July feeling

Notice my new template?
I don't know about this.
Personally I messed up the look real bad.

Green is never my colour. I think I'm messed up inside out. I am feeling numb.


But maybe its great...is it??

I am BAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD!

Thousand apologies my dear readers for I have sinned.

I abandoned you without slightest news.

I am a bad blogger for the past two weeks,

and I wish to

end it

NOW!

PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Love ya!