a MUST entry

I wrote it down in my TO-DO list : Must write an entry!

Now I'm writing it. What?! Isn't this suppose to be fun? Non-forced non compulsory act? This blog writing?

Well these days, it became a chore. I have to make time for it. I know, I think, I feel, I lost my avid readers pulse. I can see spider webs zig zagging all over the place, literally speaking!

Blah blah blah..Tettttttttt! Hrmmhh...let's see what's still left in my head that I think worth sharing.

I am going to Ho Chi Minh City! yeah! Until then...nothing much.. tata!!

Paying myself to hell

Trying my best to kill off my bad debts : Credit Cards and PTPTN. Almost everybody that I know is struggling with these two 'best friends' especially those around my age. It's like a poison candy. So yummy, red ruby like colour, but you know you will be in lot of pain when you eat it. But you still have to eat it because its too delicious to resist. Or rather there was NO other candy available and you need a candy to survive.

I can't change the history. The fact that I succumb to the poison candy temptation. But I CAN change the future. But there's a mountain to climb. I have no other resources. No piggy bank. No daddy and mummy bank. Or a fat checque from my beloved husband. Just my not-so-fat paycheck which I need for my shopping spree. What should I do my friend? I hate MLM. I am no insurance agent cum mutual funds agent wannabe. I am dead lazy. How do I overcome this? I mean not having extra money. Not the I-am-dead-lazy disease.

As far I started meddling with my own money, there's a definite conclusion; If you want to be debt-free, you have to be desire-free. Unless you inherit crazy money from your super great ancestors , OR, your generous partner IS the crazy money machine.But really, who in this materialistic world ain't got a single dime of debt? No car? No student loan? No credit card? No property? No nothing? Out of 10 people you know...how many is totally debt-free when they enter adulthood?

Money, maths, numbers makes my head spinning round and round. And I am not even tipsy.

Great great great. What else can I say?



P.s Scheduled auto-deduct from my bank account for every month to pay the damn-high-interest-PTPTN. Damn. Less one shoes allocation.

In the Mood

Its going to be a lengthy entry. I have so much in my mind that I have delayed sharing with all of you. Get your popcorn, nescafe and ciggie. You may sleep and go to toilet before finish reading them. I don't mind, as long you spend time and read it.heheh:)

2010 no more!

Summary of 2010;

First year life as a married lady.

Truthfully, being married hasn't fully absorbed in my mind. I used to think that having a ring on my finger is a definite stability in terms of relationship. Means, he's all mine and I'm all his. Turns out, it's more than that and a bit lesser. Confused? Besides having to mind that whatever we do will reflect us as a couple, there's more and more responsibility especially to each other's families. Its much more complicated and to understand your in laws than your own partners. Its like tip toeing not to break the thin surface. However, I am glad my in laws are a bunch of cool people. I hope Superman felt the same for mine. On 7.11.2010, marked our first anniversary. I wish to say we fully understand each other and everything was in synch. Not so easy. No its not. Every couples are unique. And on the last day of 2010, we reflected our relationship as husband and wife while sitting in his car in our parking lot for almost 1 hour. We realized and admitted, we are two very different person and we wondered, laughingly, how the hell we ended up marrying each other? He he. My friend, Cik Mas, was really worried as if this is the sign of break up. Actually I am glad we managed to admit our differences and guess what? We narrowed down what makes us connected. 1-Food, 2-Good families who accepted us the way we really are. Other than that, hrmh not so much, complete opposites!

Mission 2011: Work on understanding each other better and try to make our huge differences works. And personally I have to start reducing the "I" mentality and change to "we". Thanks Hana, for the advice.

Special message to Superman: Let's not jump to the next phase before we pass this phase.You know what I mean Darling:)

Career

Changed to a new job came January. I thought I was on top of the world. My boss was a lady boss.Nice change from a string of male bosses? NOT. She proves me that female bosses sucks. Hey I may be feminist. But, this oh-I-am-so-famous-kononnnnn lady boss really spoil the image of a professional and equal-to-man-emotionally that I support all the time. Maybe it was my bad luck to have her. Maybe there are good ones. Hopefully! After 3 months I said goodbye and back to supportive, calm and professional male boss in an established O&G company. What a relieve!

I love it so much here. I get the opportunity to do what I like. A nice diversion from monotonous daily secretarial tasks.  I managed a Teambuilding and Year End Dinner Party for my project team. My committee and I was praised for a job well done. All of the headache and stupid fights was worth it! In the end, almost all of my team mates had great time. Oh maybe one or two who weirdly rated us 2 out of 5 star while others gave at least 3! I don't know what's their real problem. But hey, hear the majority! That's how we are right? Democracy yo!

But as I just started to feel the grasp of my career path, My boss announced that he is retiring a week before the Teambuilding. This 17th Jan 2011 will be his last day. Suddenly, everything that he attended from that day onwards became a major attention. I am now planning for his farewell party.

I'm getting the hang of doing events. It's so much fun to plan every little detail. I became closer to my team mates. And the ones who used to resist me, ain't so resisting these days. Nice!

My new boss will be a French guy. I am not sure what I really feel. Hopefully he's as nice, dedicated and fair person like my current one.

Mission 2011: Learn French so I can't understand my new Boss better.

I Hate My Body Except my Big Fat Round Ass! :)

I was ignorant to the fact that my body ain't beautiful anymore. I can't see my chiseled face in photographs! I always look bloated. My tummy looks like I am pregnant for at least 4 months. It's not anybody's fault when they say "Berapa bulan? When are you due??" It's totally not their fault. Although, I felt like smacking their mouth right then. I felt hopeless. Not that I didn't take any measures to reduce. But it hasn't working beautifully just yet. Why? Because I was in a rut. And I was happy AND sad too much which put me on diet roller coaster. My big appetite, accompanied with ever food-loving husband and friends, caused me to have no control. There's a saying : "You are what you eat" and "You control your own life" kept ringing in my head. Its hard to understand why it never gave much impact to my behaviour towards food.

But then, after my SIL uploaded a picture of me during our family holiday in Penang recently, shot from a very unflattering angel, a clubbing night with my slim friends made me feel like an old cow, my supposed to be hot dress didn't work like magic in the Dinner Party picture I received last Friday and today, a sales rep of Bizzy Body gave his card ONLY to me when I walked pass their booth in Jusco after lunch with my officemates, I can't take it anymore. This is too much for me to swallow!

Dear Allah, help me! Dear friends, help me! Despite all the love and awesome career I have, I still feel shitty whenever I look in the mirror and see the fat girl!

Mission 2011: Reduce weight, hoping to get back to 58kg, Top size M, waist:30 by 31.12.11..Approx 2 kg monthly. I MUST do it!! 

to be continued..

What Else?

Mum going for endoscopy tomorrow to get some tissue sampling to determine the growth in her pancreas is cancerous or not*My lil Kitten died today*

What else to happen next?




 

Kesian.....

Today is the fifth day my mum was admitted to hospital. No I don't know what's her real disease until today. It sucks waiting. Much worst for the patient 17. Yes..today she is patient 17. Yesterday it was patient 24..or something. Apparently she's in high risk group so they transfered her into special care unit..Good. Only 4 beds inside the ward. Less crowd, a sink by the bed, and we have 2 plugs available for me to charge my BB and laptop. No really is not really really good news... as it marks her actual stage. Because of that someone has to be there all the time. I'm doing my turn now...graveyard shift. Its ok. At least no chaos with the visitors..nurses..doctors...new patients old patients..moving all around like in daytime.

Working life-I don't do overtime at all this week. It was really a small change that means alot-I managed to reach home before dark! How cool is that? It is..to me. :)

Forgive me for I have sinned- I spent RM450 buying 3 bags and a pair of cute patent blush pink heels at Charles & Keith during break today. Love-hate relationship with Fridays since it gave way too much time to indulge..and dig a big hole inside my tiny pocket! The word 'SALE' is really 'berhantu'. Another love-hate thing in my list. I wonder why? 

Was it because of the word-SALE? 

Was it because I have money to spent? 

Was it because the excitement of buying something?

Was it because Christmas sale always bring best stuffs on the display shelves and makes me swoon with delight?

Was it because I won't sleep in peace if I don't acquire them?

Was it because it just doesn't make sense to go to Midvalley all the way from Sg Besi and brave an hour-long jam due to everybody-received-their-paycheck -and-crazy-shopping-like-me crowd, almost none parking space, and bought nothing in the end? 

Or was it as a substitute for knowing that I won't be able to have my normal leisure outing during this weekend or after working hours next week , since I have to be in the hospital for my mum? 

Maybe its a harsh mixture of all those? 

Maybe :)  But I don't regret. 

Tomorrow, I'm getting my Coach bag posted by Yashma. Thanks girl!!!

Maybe, it's just a happy thing to do during this sad and stressful period.

Maybe, I just love to shop. Full stop!

ps. I hate needles. I hate medically inflicted pain. I must be healthy!

Time Kills Me

Today, I made a vow to become a housewife, for at least half of Sunday. Last night my MIL and SIL came and they left with Superman before lunch. I promised myself to finish folding the washed clothes. A BIG mountain of them. The worst of household chores for me which I always delay until end of the week. In one hour, I finished everything!

I waited and waited watching the TV,Tweeted,FB-ing. God, the clock ticked real slow!! Proven, I can't leave my fast phase, nerve-wrecking life. The feeling of waiting is worse.

On another story, my boss announced on Friday that he's leaving the project, and going for semi-retirement by end of the year. I was feeling shitty. Really shitty. The prospect of working with the future boss is really downing. I am not quite sure how I would handle him and even myself then. This is the first time I am having boss-changing experience, within the same post. Its not even a year. What's worst, he is the best boss to me personally, and to all those on the project team. I believed that I was in a really good track. I could actually see my short term future there. With this, I am not sure. Having a bad boss is worst than having a bad job, based on my own experience. However, I am trying to think and FEEL positive about this. Maybe he's not as bad as what was gossiped.

XXXXXXX

Superman just called, he fell from his bike. Gotta fetch him at his office. Brake faulty it seemed. Oh no!

Love At Its Best!

Let me tell you in bullet points:

1) I LOVE Long Weekend. Friday was Deepavali. So it became a public holiday. I spent most of my Friday around Shah Alam and Klang with my in laws.. For the first time, I went to Jusco Bukit Tinggi. Wahhh not bad! You see its one of Selangor's district that I am not familiar with. Always imagined it as a cowboy town!

2) I LOVE Saturday, always! i Twitted that it was my last day of singlehood last year. Yeah it was! What I remembered the most was chaos! I was not even feeling jittery or nervous about getting married the next day. So as pre-anniversary, Superman and me went to Pavilion with cik Mas, to have dinner at TGIF and watched Megamind. God, I hate Pavilion, no I hate the crowd. It was full of street punks!And at the same time it was MIFA runway show or something which brought fine people and fashionistas smack in the centre. Rojak atmosphere. Isn't Pavilion supposed to be a relaxed place? And there was a young girl who got slapped by her BF, maybe, and those street punks was like bees attracted to honey, followed all the way from the spot she got slapped to the mobile police van at the outside. Phew! What a scene!

And my mission to check out UNIQLO at the new mall, Fahrenheit opposite Pavilion was halted due to overcrowding. Guess what, at 7pm, they stopped the queue!

I noticed that more and more young people (I mean really young, school-going children or college students) wearing thousand ringgit bags and shopped at the high-street brands. You know, rm150 for a plain white t-shirt! with a small logo?! Its cool to see we Malaysians becoming more fashionable and people can afford buying all this expensive luxuries. But then, is it really appropriate for such young people to be indulging in such extravagance, with no income of their own? Of course you may say ,well, maybe their parents has bottomless bank accounts! But then, really, appropriate???? Well maybe because I was brought up in a full house of 5 children by not-bottomless-bank account-owners parents, this ringgit sense kept knocking my head.The most that I could get to shop was at Sogo or Jusco. In another hand I was living in Kajang, a real suburban-in-a-kampung-way, so I was a late bloomer in terms of branded shopping scene. Probably if I was born and bred in the heart of KL, I might become one of them(IF my parents could afford though!). It's a blessing in disguise for my parents pockets, based on my sense of shopping these days!hahaha! :) I wonder whether my future kids will be as privileged as these youngsters..hrmhhhh...

3) I LOVE Sunday only if it was 7.11.10! We were officially married for 1 year! Clap clap! Love you Superman. No more words can describe what I feel about you. Unspoken!

What did we have for the celebration? Let me try to remember. Hrmh..my mom cooked a big Tilapia for lunch which caused me to fell asleep afterwards. In the end we went out from home at 4pm. We drove to Superman's office to fetch his bike. We went back home separately. I had my hair cut,finally! And we had dinner at...get this, mamak! Har har har! Nothing really special. But having him still in my life is special enough.

4) I LOVE not having to work on Monday. After checking out Midvalley, I went to Pavilion alone while Superman went to his office. Since it was before lunch by then, I managed to check out UNIQLO. Frustrated. God, it must be the ad hype.Nothing really impressive to my eyes. Just decent. And weird. Who the hell wants to wear jackets in the humid weather of Malaysia, especially in the middle of KL city??! Could be of the Fall season. They are selling so much variety of fleece jackets. And they aren't really cheap for its Normal price. That's why people went crazy now that they have launching discounts! 

One thing I am not loving today is, Superman said he wanted me to slim down to size M! Like when we first met. Guess I was hot back then? Ha ha..gloat..gloat..please! Well I can't say no to this as I myself felt not hot nowadays. Hard to find nice clothes that actually fit me in the right places in most stores. I hate to admit. But I have surpassed the XL size for some cuts.Damn it. Damn who? Damn myself. Arghh!

Till I get myself slimmed down, I won't write another entry..Haha..Yeah right. We'll see ya?! Ciao.