Wishful Thinker and Lovin' it!

I'm Back..

2011-08-16T12:18:00.001+08:00

for jenguk2 je!

Hahah.. Yes, here I am writing to you as promised. Once in awhile.

While writing this in a freezing cold office, also while listening to raya songs, my heart kept thudding with something...nostalgic. Hard to express it by words. My tears welling up. Pfft..what the hell? But of what, I don't know. Just heavy with emotions. I think the songs are poison.

This year, a lot of unexpected things happened within my family. A lot of sad stories, interlaced with happy news.

I am really happy that my parents are still alive to this day. The biggest situation was when my mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After my mum's stint in the hospital and up and down with fever, infections whatnot, I was really worried about her, and kept wondering, until when? Now, for the moment, I just want them to live as long as possible. Of course I can't control that, it's in the hand of the almighty. But nearing the Raya celebration, I can't help to wonder, what it feels like if I won't be able to celebrate it with them? You know, if they are gone too soon? Their faces and bodies have shrunken, like old people expected to be. My papa's hearing is really bad too. It seems not so long ago that they were a pair of chubby, healthy and lively people. My protective parents.The decline are too apparent this year. Ya Allah, dear merciful god, please please please shower them with good health and happiness. Shower us siblings with it too and give us never ending and heaps of rezeki so that we can take care of our parents properly.

FYI, me and Superman has passed the 1 month stay at our new rented condo. Coming to two months now, and last weekend I had my BV clan breaking their fast. It was lovely. I wrote an entry in my wordpress.com blog. I wish our next move will be our own house. Its tiring to pack and unpack. Cost us time and money too!

I can't believe I puasa just fine this year. Although sometimes, I felt like buying McDonalds and Starbucks in the middle of the day! Go Yam Go!!

So, how's your raya preparation? All done? Me? Only 1 pair of baju kurung bought. 2 tubs of biscuits given by my friends. That's it! Believe me?? :D

Till I write again in here, have fun reading my blabs in my other blog! Subscribe it will you?

Selamat berpuasa. Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin :)

Another New Address

2011-06-20T17:49:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps. I am decided to move from Tumblr.com to WordPress.com
So my new blog from herein will be : Click here

I love Blogspot.com to bits. But hell, there's no app for Blackberry! I have not much time to spent on my laptop so I really need to go mobile, handheld. And I kind of notice my ideas flows better while on the go.

RSS feed, follow me there please. I'd like to see you there.

But fret not. This blog will remain as it is. Maybe when I have free time I will post special entries just for you my blogspot followers. Hehe.

Love you! XOXO!

I'm A Ghost Here-READ!

2011-06-19T00:55:00.001+08:00

Heys, I've been patient enough waiting for blogspot's app for Blackberry.. Why oh why Iphone has it? Thank you for the free space I got. But now I moved to a new site. Hope you guys my avid readers will RSS Feed me there or simply open your own account. Let me see whether this works.

*testing mode starts now!*

The last Weekend Here

2011-06-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps,

How's your weekend so far? Tonnes of fun or lazying around:couch potato? Whatever you do keep it up coz you will never know if you ever gonna do that in the next weekends.

Oh what in the world am I blabbing about?! Mariam, stop talking rubbish!

Actually I'm this melancholic feeling. This week has been quite a drama.

1) Last week's Friday I received a call from my brother saying that my40 years old eldest sister is getting married. As shocked as I was, I felt happy for her. It was apparently an arranged marriage. She was finally solemnized, witnessed by closed family members, on Thursday, 16th June. I have a mixed feeling about this. Being a practically independent girl, with my personal stance, I would want my sister to marry out of love. But I won't tell you about the whole drama surrounding this marriage. As a little sister, I want nothing but the best for her. Knowing her personally, I believe my parents wish is somewhat the best given her circumstances. With Allah's grace, I pray that she will one day find the LOVE in the marriage and able to feel like what I feel.
I also believe his husband, whose a native Chinese from China AND an Imam, will be able to take care of her and be a loving and patient partner. Amin.

2) Today will be my last Saturday sleeping in my current condo-Greenview Condominium. As mentioned in previous post, we found a new place. Next Saturday will be the moving out day. I am excited but at the same time, sad to leave this beautiful place. In this house, we celebrated our first anniversary. In this house, my Superman, hit the big 30. In this house, we had our ups and downs, happy moments and fights too. I love the pool, in fact, that's the biggest plus point when I decided to coax Superman to rent this place. But it's okay.
I guess, the next pool is somewhat nicer too. A bit more urban feeling compared to the resort feel here.

Besides all this, I was thinking of...hrmmhh...of....err...no..i don't have anything else to think about. Haha!

These days, I strive not to clutter my mind. One thing at a time. I know, we should be multitasking. But I just want to do the multitasking thing only in working environment. Even so, I tried to lessen it. I found that by compartmentalizing things, I am able to focus better. Get what I mean? Prioritizing as well. I used to want to do everything at one go. And I felt out of breath every time.

I get jealous with friends already buying a property. Or already looking into property buying. I can't wait for that to happen. We are not ready to settle down somewhere and at the same time our tastes are somewhat higher than we can afford. Till then..rental lah dulu!

This afternoon we went to Kota Kemuning to meet MIL and BIL family. Passed our house, I mean the house we had to sell since the location is too far from our workplace. A bit of regret. The house is really nice. And we won't be able to get the same kind of house with the same value, unless we want to move to Nilai. Please...no way! Now we have to save again(really2 struggling to save! Jeez!) for the down payment money. What a feat to go through. Arghhh!

Earthquake in My Office!

2011-06-14T18:38:00.000+08:00

I read in my UberSocial when I woke up this morning that Sumatra, Indonesia was hit by a massive earthquake. I didn't think much until I read my friend's status update saying that he felt that the office was shaking. It was 8.08am. I had yet to reach the workplace(ha...kantoi!)

I can't remember when..few hours after that I felt like my head was spinning as if somebody shaked my head. And I looked around and nearly everybody stood up and look around. OK, it was REAL! My first tremor experience. Gotta say, awesome! I mean for the out of body experience, not thinking of the dissastrous impact it would cause.

After lunch, as I was about to focus on my work, once again it happened! And this time it was a bit more obvious than the previous one. OMG! My colleague was frowning scared! But I guess because everybody knew that there's no such thing in Malaysia due to our geographical position, we went back to normal work routine.

Update from The Star Online; http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/6/14/nation/20110614094631&sec=nation

Think if my office's in Indonesia or Japan I would have run for my life!

Now I am Finding the Time...

2011-06-08T17:05:00.001+08:00

Hey peeps,
Ahhhh...it feels so good to be able to find time to write again. Actually I am still in office and finished my works. And somehow I felt the strong urge to write. Err..le patron, puis-je réclamer des heures supplémentaires ?

And as usual, I have no concrete plan for my writing. It's all jumbled up. Let me think....
1)Moving out and into a new condo...AGAIN!
Oh yes, this is my 4th move since the beginning of my relationship with Superman. My current owner sold his house and gave us ONE month notice to move out. We searched high and low for THE PLACE, and we found it after diligent day and night googling and asking around. Actually this place, called Aman Height, we have already viewed it before we moved into current home. But somehow, we didn't like it last time. God knows what makes us gugugaga this time around. Guess because of the superb facilities with OK price! We got our keys last night and suppose to start packing up tonight. Erkk! Just a gist of what's waiting us;

2)Jalan-jalan Non-Stop
Almost every week, I since March, I was on the road. Be it on personal or work purpose. It was a nice getaway, especially when I can claim every dime spent, but when I get back into the office, the pressure is somewhat the same or more. Enjoy my travel pics and lil explanation I :)

Vietnam War Museum-Some souls are too devil to be called human.

Look what they did to these innocent men.

Vietnam, Mekong River-with my travel buddies

On board Sapura 3000 vessel- I hate the way I look! So gemuk and senget.

Singapore, Universal Studios-Where I felt magical and spend till drop

There's few more pictures but I don't have the time to upload now.

3) I never lose a pound and kept adding

Surprised? Not? Yeah me too! Everything doesn't fit properly now. I am already obese. Clap clap clap clap! It's depressing but I guess my desire to eat surpass the desire to get thin.See that face at Universal Studios? Compare it with this 2008 pic.

Can you still recognize me???

Ahh...talk to you again in next entry. For now, new tasks landed in my inbox. Toodle doo!

It's My Escape

2011-03-17T21:24:00.000+08:00

I have too many wants in this world, as what my sister said once. But you can't have it all.
I couldn't agree more.

At this moment, I just want peace. At workplace, at home, on the road, and in my mind.

Things got awry lately, unintentionally. My ex colleague kept telling me, "Chill lah! Pedulik kan je". My answer "How to lah?Everyday there's always somethin happen!"

Although I am not telling you what exactly happen, not a bit, I just want you to know, things are not really smooth these days. I am working very hard at office. Although I feel tired at times, I feel good inside. It's my escape from other parts of my life. Everytime I came back home, my back ached, my shoulders tight, my legs almost wobble, but it just feel good, empowered, and rewarding. Workaholic. But I am happy.

However, deep in my heart I worry what will happen to my marriage? How do I want to be ready to have kids soon? I know the clock is ticking. And my guilt is thickening. Guilty to dear Superman. I am too addicted with the rush of adrenaline. I simply can't imagine myself changing diapers. Not yet. Not yet. Oh, I am supposed to be maternal at this age, right?

Oh, just lets go back to work.

In Saigon Now

2011-03-03T14:06:00.000+08:00

It's my 3rd day in Saigon with another 3 single girls. Yes, I am so married, but really, now I feel single :) oops!

I am hungry. Malay/Muslim food : fine dining here. Yes, expensive, and hard to find. Babi all over the place.
I am yearning for Nasik Lemak, Nasik Campur, Teh Tarik....with the actual taste!

I wish I packed 3-in-1, bread, tuna/sardine in cans.

But hey the hotel is cheap and nice. RM50/nite and you get something like 3 or 4 star hotel.

Till later. We are going to visit the war remnants and take pictures with the skulls. Wish me some courage:)

a MUST entry

2011-02-17T15:40:00.000+08:00

I wrote it down in my TO-DO list : Must write an entry!

Now I'm writing it. What?! Isn't this suppose to be fun? Non-forced non compulsory act? This blog writing?

Well these days, it became a chore. I have to make time for it. I know, I think, I feel, I lost my avid readers pulse. I can see spider webs zig zagging all over the place, literally speaking!

Blah blah blah..Tettttttttt! Hrmmhh...let's see what's still left in my head that I think worth sharing.

I am going to Ho Chi Minh City! yeah! Until then...nothing much.. tata!!

Paying myself to hell

2011-01-31T16:47:00.001+08:00

Trying my best to kill off my bad debts : Credit Cards and PTPTN. Almost everybody that I know is struggling with these two 'best friends' especially those around my age. It's like a poison candy. So yummy, red ruby like colour, but you know you will be in lot of pain when you eat it. But you still have to eat it because its too delicious to resist. Or rather there was NO other candy available and you need a candy to survive.

I can't change the history. The fact that I succumb to the poison candy temptation. But I CAN change the future. But there's a mountain to climb. I have no other resources. No piggy bank. No daddy and mummy bank. Or a fat checque from my beloved husband. Just my not-so-fat paycheck which I need for my shopping spree. What should I do my friend? I hate MLM. I am no insurance agent cum mutual funds agent wannabe. I am dead lazy. How do I overcome this? I mean not having extra money. Not the I-am-dead-lazy disease.

As far I started meddling with my own money, there's a definite conclusion; If you want to be debt-free, you have to be desire-free. Unless you inherit crazy money from your super great ancestors , OR, your generous partner IS the crazy money machine.But really, who in this materialistic world ain't got a single dime of debt? No car? No student loan? No credit card? No property? No nothing? Out of 10 people you know...how many is totally debt-free when they enter adulthood?

Money, maths, numbers makes my head spinning round and round. And I am not even tipsy.

Great great great. What else can I say?

P.s Scheduled auto-deduct from my bank account for every month to pay the damn-high-interest-PTPTN. Damn. Less one shoes allocation.

In the Mood

2011-01-03T19:22:00.001+08:00

Its going to be a lengthy entry. I have so much in my mind that I have delayed sharing with all of you. Get your popcorn, nescafe and ciggie. You may sleep and go to toilet before finish reading them. I don't mind, as long you spend time and read it.heheh:)

2010 no more!

Summary of 2010;

First year life as a married lady.

Truthfully, being married hasn't fully absorbed in my mind. I used to think that having a ring on my finger is a definite stability in terms of relationship. Means, he's all mine and I'm all his. Turns out, it's more than that and a bit lesser. Confused? Besides having to mind that whatever we do will reflect us as a couple, there's more and more responsibility especially to each other's families. Its much more complicated and to understand your in laws than your own partners. Its like tip toeing not to break the thin surface. However, I am glad my in laws are a bunch of cool people. I hope Superman felt the same for mine. On 7.11.2010, marked our first anniversary. I wish to say we fully understand each other and everything was in synch. Not so easy. No its not. Every couples are unique. And on the last day of 2010, we reflected our relationship as husband and wife while sitting in his car in our parking lot for almost 1 hour. We realized and admitted, we are two very different person and we wondered, laughingly, how the hell we ended up marrying each other? He he. My friend, Cik Mas, was really worried as if this is the sign of break up. Actually I am glad we managed to admit our differences and guess what? We narrowed down what makes us connected. 1-Food, 2-Good families who accepted us the way we really are. Other than that, hrmh not so much, complete opposites!

Mission 2011: Work on understanding each other better and try to make our huge differences works. And personally I have to start reducing the "I" mentality and change to "we". Thanks Hana, for the advice.

Special message to Superman: Let's not jump to the next phase before we pass this phase.You know what I mean Darling:)

Career

Changed to a new job came January. I thought I was on top of the world. My boss was a lady boss.Nice change from a string of male bosses? NOT. She proves me that female bosses sucks. Hey I may be feminist. But, this oh-I-am-so-famous-kononnnnn lady boss really spoil the image of a professional and equal-to-man-emotionally that I support all the time. Maybe it was my bad luck to have her. Maybe there are good ones. Hopefully! After 3 months I said goodbye and back to supportive, calm and professional male boss in an established O&G company. What a relieve!

I love it so much here. I get the opportunity to do what I like. A nice diversion from monotonous daily secretarial tasks. I managed a Teambuilding and Year End Dinner Party for my project team. My committee and I was praised for a job well done. All of the headache and stupid fights was worth it! In the end, almost all of my team mates had great time. Oh maybe one or two who weirdly rated us 2 out of 5 star while others gave at least 3! I don't know what's their real problem. But hey, hear the majority! That's how we are right? Democracy yo!

But as I just started to feel the grasp of my career path, My boss announced that he is retiring a week before the Teambuilding. This 17th Jan 2011 will be his last day. Suddenly, everything that he attended from that day onwards became a major attention. I am now planning for his farewell party.

I'm getting the hang of doing events. It's so much fun to plan every little detail. I became closer to my team mates. And the ones who used to resist me, ain't so resisting these days. Nice!

My new boss will be a French guy. I am not sure what I really feel. Hopefully he's as nice, dedicated and fair person like my current one.

Mission 2011: Learn French so I can't understand my new Boss better.

I Hate My Body Except my Big Fat Round Ass! :)

I was ignorant to the fact that my body ain't beautiful anymore. I can't see my chiseled face in photographs! I always look bloated. My tummy looks like I am pregnant for at least 4 months. It's not anybody's fault when they say "Berapa bulan? When are you due??" It's totally not their fault. Although, I felt like smacking their mouth right then. I felt hopeless. Not that I didn't take any measures to reduce. But it hasn't working beautifully just yet. Why? Because I was in a rut. And I was happy AND sad too much which put me on diet roller coaster. My big appetite, accompanied with ever food-loving husband and friends, caused me to have no control. There's a saying : "You are what you eat" and "You control your own life" kept ringing in my head. Its hard to understand why it never gave much impact to my behaviour towards food.

But then, after my SIL uploaded a picture of me during our family holiday in Penang recently, shot from a very unflattering angel, a clubbing night with my slim friends made me feel like an old cow, my supposed to be hot dress didn't work like magic in the Dinner Party picture I received last Friday and today, a sales rep of Bizzy Body gave his card ONLY to me when I walked pass their booth in Jusco after lunch with my officemates, I can't take it anymore. This is too much for me to swallow!

Dear Allah, help me! Dear friends, help me! Despite all the love and awesome career I have, I still feel shitty whenever I look in the mirror and see the fat girl!

Mission 2011: Reduce weight, hoping to get back to 58kg, Top size M, waist:30 by 31.12.11..Approx 2 kg monthly. I MUST do it!!

to be continued..

What Else?

2010-12-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

Mum going for endoscopy tomorrow to get some tissue sampling to determine the growth in her pancreas is cancerous or not*My lil Kitten died today*

What else to happen next?

Kesian.....

2010-11-27T00:39:00.001+08:00

Today is the fifth day my mum was admitted to hospital. No I don't know what's her real disease until today. It sucks waiting. Much worst for the patient 17. Yes..today she is patient 17. Yesterday it was patient 24..or something. Apparently she's in high risk group so they transfered her into special care unit..Good. Only 4 beds inside the ward. Less crowd, a sink by the bed, and we have 2 plugs available for me to charge my BB and laptop. No really is not really really good news... as it marks her actual stage. Because of that someone has to be there all the time. I'm doing my turn now...graveyard shift. Its ok. At least no chaos with the visitors..nurses..doctors...new patients old patients..moving all around like in daytime.

Working life-I don't do overtime at all this week. It was really a small change that means alot-I managed to reach home before dark! How cool is that? It is..to me. :)

Forgive me for I have sinned- I spent RM450 buying 3 bags and a pair of cute patent blush pink heels at Charles & Keith during break today. Love-hate relationship with Fridays since it gave way too much time to indulge..and dig a big hole inside my tiny pocket! The word 'SALE' is really 'berhantu'. Another love-hate thing in my list. I wonder why?

Was it because of the word-SALE?

Was it because I have money to spent?

Was it because the excitement of buying something?

Was it because Christmas sale always bring best stuffs on the display shelves and makes me swoon with delight?

Was it because I won't sleep in peace if I don't acquire them?

Was it because it just doesn't make sense to go to Midvalley all the way from Sg Besi and brave an hour-long jam due to everybody-received-their-paycheck -and-crazy-shopping-like-me crowd, almost none parking space, and bought nothing in the end?

Or was it as a substitute for knowing that I won't be able to have my normal leisure outing during this weekend or after working hours next week , since I have to be in the hospital for my mum?

Maybe its a harsh mixture of all those?

Maybe :) But I don't regret.

Tomorrow, I'm getting my Coach bag posted by Yashma. Thanks girl!!!

Maybe, it's just a happy thing to do during this sad and stressful period.

Maybe, I just love to shop. Full stop!

ps. I hate needles. I hate medically inflicted pain. I must be healthy!

Time Kills Me

2010-11-21T18:01:00.000+08:00

Today, I made a vow to become a housewife, for at least half of Sunday. Last night my MIL and SIL came and they left with Superman before lunch. I promised myself to finish folding the washed clothes. A BIG mountain of them. The worst of household chores for me which I always delay until end of the week. In one hour, I finished everything!

I waited and waited watching the TV,Tweeted,FB-ing. God, the clock ticked real slow!! Proven, I can't leave my fast phase, nerve-wrecking life. The feeling of waiting is worse.

On another story, my boss announced on Friday that he's leaving the project, and going for semi-retirement by end of the year. I was feeling shitty. Really shitty. The prospect of working with the future boss is really downing. I am not quite sure how I would handle him and even myself then. This is the first time I am having boss-changing experience, within the same post. Its not even a year. What's worst, he is the best boss to me personally, and to all those on the project team. I believed that I was in a really good track. I could actually see my short term future there. With this, I am not sure. Having a bad boss is worst than having a bad job, based on my own experience. However, I am trying to think and FEEL positive about this. Maybe he's not as bad as what was gossiped.

XXXXXXX

Superman just called, he fell from his bike. Gotta fetch him at his office. Brake faulty it seemed. Oh no!

Love At Its Best!

2010-11-08T19:58:00.001+08:00

Let me tell you in bullet points:

1) I LOVE Long Weekend. Friday was Deepavali. So it became a public holiday. I spent most of my Friday around Shah Alam and Klang with my in laws.. For the first time, I went to Jusco Bukit Tinggi. Wahhh not bad! You see its one of Selangor's district that I am not familiar with. Always imagined it as a cowboy town!

2) I LOVE Saturday, always! i Twitted that it was my last day of singlehood last year. Yeah it was! What I remembered the most was chaos! I was not even feeling jittery or nervous about getting married the next day. So as pre-anniversary, Superman and me went to Pavilion with cik Mas, to have dinner at TGIF and watched Megamind. God, I hate Pavilion, no I hate the crowd. It was full of street punks!And at the same time it was MIFA runway show or something which brought fine people and fashionistas smack in the centre. Rojak atmosphere. Isn't Pavilion supposed to be a relaxed place? And there was a young girl who got slapped by her BF, maybe, and those street punks was like bees attracted to honey, followed all the way from the spot she got slapped to the mobile police van at the outside. Phew! What a scene!

And my mission to check out UNIQLO at the new mall, Fahrenheit opposite Pavilion was halted due to overcrowding. Guess what, at 7pm, they stopped the queue!

I noticed that more and more young people (I mean really young, school-going children or college students) wearing thousand ringgit bags and shopped at the high-street brands. You know, rm150 for a plain white t-shirt! with a small logo?! Its cool to see we Malaysians becoming more fashionable and people can afford buying all this expensive luxuries. But then, is it really appropriate for such young people to be indulging in such extravagance, with no income of their own? Of course you may say ,well, maybe their parents has bottomless bank accounts! But then, really, appropriate???? Well maybe because I was brought up in a full house of 5 children by not-bottomless-bank account-owners parents, this ringgit sense kept knocking my head.The most that I could get to shop was at Sogo or Jusco. In another hand I was living in Kajang, a real suburban-in-a-kampung-way, so I was a late bloomer in terms of branded shopping scene. Probably if I was born and bred in the heart of KL, I might become one of them(IF my parents could afford though!). It's a blessing in disguise for my parents pockets, based on my sense of shopping these days!hahaha! :) I wonder whether my future kids will be as privileged as these youngsters..hrmhhhh...

3) I LOVE Sunday only if it was 7.11.10! We were officially married for 1 year! Clap clap! Love you Superman. No more words can describe what I feel about you. Unspoken!

What did we have for the celebration? Let me try to remember. Hrmh..my mom cooked a big Tilapia for lunch which caused me to fell asleep afterwards. In the end we went out from home at 4pm. We drove to Superman's office to fetch his bike. We went back home separately. I had my hair cut,finally! And we had dinner at...get this, mamak! Har har har! Nothing really special. But having him still in my life is special enough.

4) I LOVE not having to work on Monday. After checking out Midvalley, I went to Pavilion alone while Superman went to his office. Since it was before lunch by then, I managed to check out UNIQLO. Frustrated. God, it must be the ad hype.Nothing really impressive to my eyes. Just decent. And weird. Who the hell wants to wear jackets in the humid weather of Malaysia, especially in the middle of KL city??! Could be of the Fall season. They are selling so much variety of fleece jackets. And they aren't really cheap for its Normal price. That's why people went crazy now that they have launching discounts!

One thing I am not loving today is, Superman said he wanted me to slim down to size M! Like when we first met. Guess I was hot back then? Ha ha..gloat..gloat..please! Well I can't say no to this as I myself felt not hot nowadays. Hard to find nice clothes that actually fit me in the right places in most stores. I hate to admit. But I have surpassed the XL size for some cuts.Damn it. Damn who? Damn myself. Arghh!

Till I get myself slimmed down, I won't write another entry..Haha..Yeah right. We'll see ya?! Ciao.

Shopaholic Ain't Changing Yeah!

2010-10-30T11:05:00.000+08:00

It's a lovely Saturday morning. I have acquired myself a new COACH bag without leaving the home and my pyjama. All thanks to Yashma!(oi..aku hampir makan megi oiii!). I decided not to visit her page anymore until my no-shopping mode is intact. Oh my god! Next month the sale will be much more crazier due to Christmas. Its time for skincare and makeup shopping. This is the time where all those special pallettes comes in. And..my stock's finishing. Good enough reason to splurge NECESSARILY!

Superman's watching his favourite movie-P.Ramlee's "Di Belakang Tabir". I kindof like this movie. The era is very cool. That's when the retro elements made the appearance. And man...they have A&W with dance floor! Superman's an avid fan of P.Ramlee, whereas I had never watch any of his movies from start to end. Does this make me a bad Malaysian? Ha ha.

I am scratching my head on how to save more for the March trip. Girls only 1-week-adventure at a very foreign land. It's suppose to be an inexpensive trip. But being the Shopaholic I am, I need to have the extras. You know, just in case :) Since Superman's not joining, I am just scared to ask him to pitch in a little bit. Seems unfair too..But........darling..ehhehehe!:) Love you no matter what. Really:)

The sun's rising but I haven't stared the laundry. Gotta go y'all!

Housewife Mode : ON!

Neverending Land

2010-10-27T19:43:00.000+08:00

Taking 10 minutes break. It's 7:15pm. Am at office. Superman's outstation. No reason to go back so early. No one to hug and have chocolate shake with. Hrmh..

I have a good news! I have a new cat! Not at my own home though. Besides the fact that my condo is pet free zone, Superman won't allow any fury animals to come into the house. Jeez! When he will ever allow? So, this little kitten named Junior. She reminded me of Oren because she is orange in colour too! Very tiny. But, her eyes is so round and big, like Pussy in the Boots in Shrek movie. Actually my mom found her in front of the house on last Saturday afternoon. We couldn't locate the owner or the mama cat. God sent!! Message to Oren, wherever you are: "Were you the one who dropped us this cute little creature?? I'm missing you so much! I remember you every single day. Sometimes I still cried a little remembering the last days you were in my house. Where are you?"

It is really crazy at work these days. I felt like my tasks were neverending. And although I went back very late daily,seriously,daily, I still could not finish everything. I hate to go back home knowing this and that was not completed. I'll keep thinking about it throught the night. Sometimes, when I'm about to doze off, I remembered something, and the sleepy eyes became wide open. And the next day, new tasks came in like...woosh!!!Pap!Landed in my inbox tut tut tut! Overwhelming! I couldn't remember when was the last time I felt everything was really in order. Somehow, I think this really challenge my planning ability to the max! I took on extra project as the planner, which I love. My highlight of the year. An event which will happen in December. For about 200 people of my project team. Not that I am complaining. But well, I am only a human, with two hands,working 5 days a week, more than 8 hours daily, no assistant/secretary, because I AM a secretary. Got it? What the hell, I planned my own wedding aite?? At least 1200 people attended. But well, pressure is on since this is about W.O.R.K! Lots of people to prove my worth. Ha ha.. *naseb ko la Mariam, siape suruh rajin sangat??*

Okay, ladies and gentleman, back to work!

Issues..yes I HAVE!

2010-10-19T19:10:00.000+08:00

Ok, my happy time was quite brief these days. And during those brief moments I was not in the mood of writing. I know I have promised you happy stories after the last entry.

But I don't know, my hands dance faster when I am not in a good mood. I guess you now already know that I am not in a good mood right now.

Depressed? Oh please....I hate the word.

At work, I am in the midst of something big. At least that's how I view it. I'm organizing a big event for the team. I'm so happy that my boss trusted me on this, but at the same time it gave so much headache and heartache. Its really hard to satisfy every one. And even if you don't mean to tick anyone, some souls just won't settle until I follow their wants. Or rather not becoming so good at what I do. Is it wrong not to feel content and challenge yourself to become a better person? Oh dear Allah, please guide me to a better path, give me strength to complete this with all the madness surrounding me. The saying "It's lonelier when you are at the top" seems so true.

*Is this me or my pre-menstrual talking?*

Other parts of my life, hrmh..alot of negative dramas too. From family to marriage.Jeez, I sound like a drama queen. But really friends, I wonder why it must came to me at this very moment? Can't they come one by one? Or sparingly? Its a wonder how I could sustain my sanity. Not having any drama in your life is truly a boring life. I don't want that too!

Right now, I just feel like diving deep down into my swimming pool. Imagining that I'm looking at corals and colourful fishes. I can't wait to get away, away at least for awhile.

*Reality check: I am now at my office. Taking 10 minutes break. Its 7:07pm. Not sure when the day will end.*

Ain't A Good Thing

2010-10-05T17:43:00.000+08:00

There's so much going on in my life. But nothing is news worthy at the moment. If I write..its going to be a cocktail of sombre+annoying+sad+negative vibes. Which is not really good for you lovely readers.

And hell yeah I don't want to be remembered as

SENSITIVE Bitch!

Till I'm back to my cheery happy mode, take care peeps!

How to be Nice but Not Too Nice?

2010-10-04T14:43:00.000+08:00

~Pat your friend's back and smile while telling her she's good for nothing~

I Hate Surprises Except If its A Nice 'It' Bag!

2010-10-01T03:12:00.000+08:00

3:10am. I'm wide awake.Thanks to the rude shock in the middle of the night.

I fucking hated it.

Full Stop!

I Will Not Be Perfect, but Close to It

2010-09-22T20:52:00.000+08:00

Remember my debt repayment planning I mentioned not so long ago?

Its really hard to kick off the habit of buying stuffs impulsively. Yes I am an impulse buyer. Some stuffs that I bought ended up collecting dusts.

But I think I have learned enough.

And today, I found my mentor/motivation guru.Clck this link.
Luckily I have no kids and house to pay.

Hope it will help you too!

Am I Not Thankful Enough?

2010-09-19T23:19:00.000+08:00

Is it wrong to say that you are bored with your life or work and you want something much more challenging or yearn better things in life? Does expressing your feelings mean you are not grateful?

I wonder?

Or should you choose between feeling content and not ask for more unless being given the 'rezeki' OR striving hard to create a better future using your sheer hard work and good brains+luck?

Really Inspired

2010-09-16T17:05:00.000+08:00


HELLOOOOOO!!!!!! Selamat Hari Raya!! Do you notice anything different about me?

Blog hopping is a bliss. Peeking into other people's lives. I get lost absorbing the informations and their drama.. and for awhile its not all about me.

Its Malaysia Day today. I love it because its a public holiday, in the middle of the week. Tomorrow I took another day off my Annual Leave allocation. Damn, until April 2010, I only have 11 days balance.

Lately, I have started looking for a greener field out of the country. Just in case my contract is not renewed by early 2012. I get jealous+hopeful when I heard that some of my buddies are working abroad. And most of them are professionals like engineers and consultants. I wonder whether secretarial job will take me anywhere? Perhaps I have to take up a pro course with MAICSA and become a Company Secretary instead. Hell, that's a very serious job! Suit-up girl!

I know, nothing beats Malaysia coz I am so used to this beautiful country and its culture. But then again, I want to know. Satisfying my curiosity or rather adding up to my life experience by living and working in another country. Plus, currently working with lots of expats, it made me yearning of the perks they are receiving. Ha ha! Tonnes of money bebehhh! But Superman said if only me get a job abroad, he has no qualms to become a househusband. What?!So not sexy!No darling, I ain't coming back home to see my husband in apron...daily! No no no!

Yes, now I have hair bangs. And I almost finished the whole jar of Raya cookies:)

These few days I was hit by cooking bug. I am not usually domestic. I prefer to stroll around shopping malls and dine outside. This is new. I was telling Superman to get me an oven. A baker standard oven, okay! Maybe I can start a baking business from home. Make money to invest!(Yeah right..)But I also want a bag for my wedding anniversary gift. A Coach bag. And Superman pretended that he didn't hear me. Grrr......

Sad story about Sosilawati case. You know..the murder of the cosmetic millionaire., What went wrong with these lunatics. Putting money over people's life?

I'm itching to go somewhere. My mother in law said I can't sit still. "Duduk-duduklah rumah" she said. The thing is, I need to get out to make myself tired. Or else I can't sleep at night. Darling, lets go out!

Arghhhh! What a Feeling!

2010-09-15T12:56:00.000+08:00

1.Bloated
2.Lazy
3.Fat
4.Fat
5.Chubby
6.Fed up
7.Wants more cupcakes and ice cream.

Negative feelings.
Hate it so much!

Emotional nye aku hari ni!

First Time 'Meeting' my Father In Law

2010-09-13T10:23:00.000+08:00

My hubby was orphaned quite a long time ago. We went to my FIL grave on the 2nd day of Raya morning after having a tahlil session.It was a weird feeling. I wonder if its my very own Papa's grave. This thing will happen to me some day. But I pray that it will not become a reality so soon. I am not ready. I need my Papa still.

Silently, I told Abah:
"Abah, thank you for bringing up your fine son. He completes me. Pray for our well being. So that one day, we will have a good son of our own."

And my heart melt when Superman said "Yazid balik dulu bah. Nanti Yazid datang lagi sembang-sembang, okay?" Every year my Superman cleaned up his Abah's grave before Hari Raya comes.

I looked around and saw some graves was not well taken care off. I wonder why so? We put up some leftover petals on those graves. Maybe their families are not around anymore to visit them. Ya Allah, please bless their souls too. I pray after I die, my families and relatives still remember me and visit my grave. I love white cala lilies.

My Blog: Us 3.jpg

2010-09-11T09:10:00.001+08:00

Feeling delighted that 1st raya goes well.how about u?

This Hari Raya

2010-09-08T21:09:00.000+08:00

Hi Darlings....

Found my friends sending Raya e-cards and zero real paper cards to me this year. Owh, you are very kind to environment but not to me..huk huk2! But its okay. The thoughts that matter. Thanks thanks!

Prior to the Hari Raya day which falls on 10.9.10, Friday, I would like to wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri. Sorry if my words hurt you. Sorry for not being able to accomodate your feelings in my writings. Really if I ever hurt you physically, sorry. Sorry in every way. I'll do my best to be a better writer and person.

Drive safely. Eat a lot, and let us get fat together:) hhehe!

I Want to Be a BILLIONAIRE!so freaking bad!

2010-09-06T17:21:00.000+08:00

Okay, am loving that song, Billionaire..

But to become one, I might as well follow these steps;(found on Yahoo)

TIPS from FRUGAL BILLIONAIRE

Jom!!

Flashback of Childhood

2010-09-06T14:44:00.001+08:00

Sekamat gang rocks!

Yeah, had iftar session at home yesterday with my primary school friends. Lisha+fiance, Ainul+hubby,Erma, Liana and my dear Superman was seen "srottt srottt" their heart out eating the 'siput sedut', cooked by Ainul, ehh? Really?? Muahahhaha! Ina came earliest to cook vege dishes while I prep my FIRST ikan bakar+air asam+sambal belacan using recipes found on Google!I smelled belacan eau de toilette. Superman said its the best perfume ever! Wowwww!!So after thousand minutes, Ainul+hubby and Erma made their grand entrance with the great siput sedut masak lemak and Lisha+fiance was fashionably late. Luckily she managed to mix her Ribena fruit punch on time.Bravo bravo!

The best moments was the kacau-kutuk-cam whoring session while our man watched movies. It was like the old time. And all the 'lawak zaman sekolah' flew accross the room. Now my hubby knew I am "susu girl" all the way! Damn!Hahahah.What? you don't understand what its all about?Fret not. That's why it was called 'lawak zaman sekolah!" :)

We are all grown ups now. Single, engaged, married, studied, worked. We went to seperate paths. We have different life stories, struggles and achievments. But being with each other, those things doesn't really matter. Instead, it brought out the little child in us. I'm so happy and flattered that they enjoyed the little gathering at my home. Girls, lets swim together anytime! Hey, meh la duk kat condo aku! Ade lagi unit kosong sebelah rumah aku nii.... :D

Let the Pic Talks

2010-09-04T20:17:00.000+08:00

Jeez my KM 900 sucks.I can't upload pictures as Blogger does not support the phone's browser to compose!What a downer. I need to install firefox.
Btw, I have, for the zillionth time vow to commit in clearing up my bad debts towards my financial independence. Time span 2 years! You won't caught me dead swiping the plastics(except for debit card).My new motto 'Credit Sucks!' and 'Cash it Out!' Yeah bebeh!

It's not a rocket science.But I refused to follow. Now, I will,dilligently!Pray for me, please!
Ps: many won't share their financial struggle. It's an embarrasment. It really does. But I hope from sharing this I will get insights from u my readers on how to tackle the issue, how to stay out of temptations and how to grow the money. Which is the best way for u?perhaps is good for me too..

Do I Have to Work?

2010-09-01T07:27:00.000+08:00

It's 7:20am.

Its Wednesday. Its a work day. But I am procrastinating getting ready.

Do I have to work Superman?

Do I?

Why can't I follow you to work? To wherever you go. Damn I sound so clingy. But I hate to sahur alone tomorrow morning. Maybe I just won't wake up. Easy peasy:)

Oh man, 5 days of holiday turned me into a lazy bum. Not a perfect housewife. I just don't know how to be. I think my brain needs to be computerized like the Stepford housewives. Perfect..all perfect! And Superman can play his Xbox all day long without me complaining. "Oh Honey, please play more and more!" Clap clap clap!

Snapped into reality!

Get ready now!!!

Car Type=Driver Attitude?

2010-08-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

Do u like to be labeled?

But sometimes you've got to accept the fact that you are being labeled, like it or not.

Well this thing was in my mind for quite sometime but I just couldn't write it out since I was considering very hard whether it is appropriate.

Girls, some of us ladies were known to be attracted by certain things a guy is passionate about. One of it is their passion in cars. Or rather what they are driving. Some like sporty cars, some like luxury cars, and some won't really care. But I do care. I like luxury cars. But that was not what attracted me to Superman. His car at the time was not really luxe. Just decent:)

I have a thing with modified cars. Especially those with the brand names of Proton Wira/Saga/Neo, Perodua Kancil, and old Civic. Its not a positive vibe. Time and time again they prove to be a brat on the streets. I tried hard to think that there must be some pure, calm and considerate souls driving these kind of cars. But I guess, with the modification that brings a greater vroom to the car, comes the attitude. You know, those idiotic/selfish/impatient drivers who can't wait to cross the street or speed up ahead of you although it was clear the road was not safe for such acts?? Besides not using their signals, some of them would even honk you if you are not driving fast enough! Hey you idiots, I was driving 110km/h already on coastal road lah! The cars in front of me was not cleared and the left lane was full of cars, and you kept on 'cucuk2' me! Wtf!Are you having a diarrhea or sth??!

If you, or your bf/hubby/daddy/bros/friends are in this category, I'm sorry if you don't like this entry. But really,these culprits MUST stop annoying other drivers! Be calm. Jiwa selamat! And turn your audio volume down while driving in residential area, especially at night. Drive in the right lane. Use your signal. And be considerate will ya?!

Girls, if guys carrying this big ego while driving, do you think he will lower himself to accommodate your feelings? I wonder. Wow, that is quite a different issue. But really, if he's that bad on the road, can he really be a calm-no-attitude person off the wheels?

Its almost Raya. Keep yourself safe on the roads lovelies. Think of your love ones. Think for your well-being too! XOXO!

Less Is Truly More!

2010-08-28T14:24:00.000+08:00

Hey ya peeps!

Hey hey hey...ramadhan is going to end pretty soon. So on Thursday and Friday I went shopping some stuffs alone! Yup..alone! It's a bliss really. Despite the fact that I had to carry everything on my own, pay on my own, and no second opinions except for the very pleasing sales girls, I think I scored a lot. Found some gems which will last very2 long. I listened to what I really wanted AND not:D

But although I was alone, I felt like Superman was right beside me, preaching me not to waste on unnecessary stuffs. But then, what is unnecessary?My vision was blurred seeing all those discount signs. Classic shopaholic syndrome. Ha ha!

So here was the deal I striked between me and Superman on the Wednesday night when he gave me some money for Raya prep;

1)biscuit jars

2)biscuits to fill in the jars

3)1 pc baju kurung

4)dining and glass sets

But what was brought up to my condo(5 trips from my car!);

1)biscuit jars

2)NO biscuits!

3)2 pc baju kurung

4)dining and glass sets

5)3 shoes

6)3 bags

7)1 bangle and 1 pair of earings

8)raya undies:)(must find matching bras)

Yeahh...OTT!

It made me think.."what the hell just happened???!!!" Okay, okay, chilex Mariam! Just to justify my purchases, this year, I spend less on the item value. Like half..So, that's how I get more quantity..

Hey...that's what they meant by less is more...aite???!

Okay, this will last long. After all they are gorgeous too..especially the bags! Love love love!

TODAY Mission: Raya biscuits+'kerongsang'. Just that. Full stop!

Tried but Failed Miserably!

2010-08-21T06:32:00.000+08:00

It's 6:30 am. My tummy's full with water+anlene+koay teaw kung fu of sahur. My eyes became dopey.

But I thought to spend more time with my hubby. But he's playing Xbox. What the heck. Tried to be supportive of his hobby. But my eyes wouldn't hold it anymore. Sorry man...I tried to get into the game but I just couldn't. My hands was not trained to push the controller buttons, hence, my Audi car just won't go at the right direction!Dush!

What Does It Mean??

2010-08-18T07:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday whilst at office and listening to Era station on my KM900 cell, an ustaz was giving this short talk. The content made me ponder my own motive. "Some people only feels hungry and thirsty after fasting the whole day." What else did I get from my own fasting? 90% hunger and thirst.10% yawning in the middle of the day + wishful thinking on Raya shoes+bag+baju kurung.That's it.

I felt totally ashamed. Did I just realized that I blatantly doing this for the sake of fasting? Oh my my! My mom would have cried knowing her well-schooled daughter was not really absorbing the true hikmah of fasting. Its been awhile since I really follow the true path of Islam. I missed out alot on solat. I rarely read Quran. I don't wear hijab anymore. Oh god. What have I became? Not pointing fingers to who caused me this way. Just pointing it back to myself. I know. I'm an adult. My parent did great sending to me to religious classes and teaching me good stuffs. I chose not to follow. But again, I believe, to do something good and holy shall start from the bottom of your heart. Forcing will only make me feel not sincere, thus, hypocrite.

I always wonder why some of my friends who went to the same school, could sustain their religious appearance. Whereas I could not? Never wish to do this. But at one point in my life, I questioned myself. Did I do it because I fully embraced the teachings or because, I just afraid not to Allah, but to my parents or to other people like friends and family would say??Afraid to be different?Maybe I should start small ain't it? One step at a time. Again.Like a small child. Shameful. But for betterment?

Pondering a bit deeper, maybe this is the reason my life isn't so great lately. Maybe I forgot to say thank you to Allah. Maybe I did not donate more than I should. So Allah took some things away. Some things that I thought I didn't have to worry until suddenly its not there anymore.Luckily, he didn't take all away.

I don't know why I felt so melancholic this Wednesday morning. Usually I could sleep well after my sahur. But today, the eyes just wouldn't shut. So I made peace and wrote these instead. Maybe that white coffee I had is doing its caffeine thingy?!

Sorry guys for posting this ridiculously sombre mode writings. I just need to let out. I'm not really good expressing myself verbally, but I know I am damn good in writing.

Yesterday also, I felt the pang of missing something I love to do and always will, being crafty, designing something. You know, every time I felt the office works was overwhelming, I kept going back to my fav design blogs, for five minutes breaks. It gave me 'zing'!

Its 7:20am. Gotta get ready for work! Lucky me the office isn't so far away.:)

Trying to figure out...

2010-08-14T20:58:00.000+08:00

Cukupkah sepasang baju raya bersama 3 kasut baru?

Haven't bought the shoes yet.

But, due tovery limited budget and wayward nafsu, I've got to decide whether to buy shoes that I 'desperately' needed or buy more baju kurung to add up to my fast depleting fit-to-my-balooning-body baju kurung and also to add up to the 'feel' of Hari Raya?

Torn!

HELP ME DECIDE!!

Lovely Love

2010-08-08T09:15:00.000+08:00

As I am writing this,I am sitting next to Superman's mom his eldest brother n wife in Tun Abdul Razak Hall @ UKM to witness him receiving his MBA scroll. I am a proud wife today.:) I still remember his struggles in monetary,time n effort to finish his study,to work n to marry me,all at the same time.Indeed he is my SUPERman! Thank you my love!

On a funny note; seeing the academicians all wearing the robes reminds me of Hogwarts.I think I spot Prof Dumbledore.I pinky swear!

Do You Have to Say Something Everytime I Say Something?

2010-07-20T13:35:00.000+08:00

Well as I am writing this, my heart is felt with remorse. I feel dumbfounded of what unapealing effort to ruin people's day by someone whom I am trying hard to think nicely about her. Like bringing issues with no valid ground just so people can see that she has something 'brainy' to say and trying very hard to make other people's ideas seems less 'brainy' than hers. What is it actually these kind of people want? Did she lack the attention she badly wanted?Or did she enjoy making people look stupid? I continue to wonder.

Dear Allah, bless me with the right guidance to walk through this thin path to successful career and life. Ease my fear, my burden and my negative mind so that I can clearly see what is the right answer in every decision need to be made. Oh Allah, my merciful God, protect me from all the bad influence so that I won't create enemies along the way and the love I received from you, family, husband and friends remains intact.Oh Allah, bless me all the way!

What Binds Love?

2010-07-19T17:50:00.000+08:00

Today, I am not wearing my wedding ring to the office. Superman, pardon me please for I have completely forgot to wear it in the rush this morning. I feel naked. I hate this feeling. Like I feel naked for not wearing lip gloss since I left it too!

But really why do I have to feel naked? Like I am not married to Superman without it? Like I don't love him anymore? Like I am a single lady reluctantly? No, I am still married to him, I don't love him less, and majority of people that knew me knows that my marriage is still intact. All checked. Still, this feeling is firmly looming around.

No matter what I am a strong independent women. Only that, maybe, love turn me into this 'jell-o'...:)

What's Next in Life...

2010-07-18T22:31:00.001+08:00

Reflecting on my last entry...

I am not pregnant. Got the answer on the same day as Mr Red Flag gave me a visit. What did I feel? Relieved? Yeah. Happy? Not. I am not quite sure. And since then Superman has this weird dopey grin when he saw babies, babies pictures, babies this and babies that. Oh baby baby baby baby.......I wonder whether a pair of big round eyes, looking at us and crying out loud to have her milk sucked from my suddenly augmented breast will be everything in this sacred union of our hearts?

Happy to hear dear Diana is becoming the Mak Long of BVians as what was quoted by Yash in her blog. And last week, Norzie, my university friend found out she's 4 months pregnant too. And also few others, which I couldn't recall who got knocked up first. Seems like everybody is getting knocked up! Hey you knocked up readers, congratulations! Take care and do let me know when your lil tots arrived in this world ya!

And yes, I feel weird. I'm half way towards our anniversary. But I am still in awe of wedding dresses. Don't you think its weird too?When will I ever get over with this wedding obsession??!

On recent Friday, I accompanied Superman to Kuching for his work trip. Well , besides pitying him, bored to death in between flights and meetings, I jumped to every opportunity to see the world! FOC! Who doesn't want that?Lol! With careful planning at work, I sent out my leave application form, hoping my very best that it will get approved. At the end of Thursday, I was running here and there, making sure all tasks was completely done before I went jet setting. Unfortunately, there was still some left, which I had to ask my colleague to continue only after my lovely boss whisked me away, afraid that I was not able to catch my flight. Love you Boss! It feels like a second 'unplanned' honeymoon. Quite a spontaneous trip since we only relied to our trusted GPS tor tell us where the tourist attraction in Kuching. Tell you what, don't trust your GPS completely as we ended up visiting a jogger path in front of a school and swimming pool next to PTPTL college!We had a major laugh when we arrived at these so called tourist attractions. After hours of false destinations, we went to one of the shopping mall, sipping Coffee Bean ice blended. Superman finally searched through WiFi internet, and that was when we found some real touristy places. Cut it short, we became the last visitor at Semenggoh Orang Utan Rehabilitation Centre. Another false info, of which we were told it closes at 5pm, whereas we were politely whisked away by the officer at 4pm. Well, it was almost dark. Its a jungle out there. Real natural habitat where the orang utans was not caged, wildly bred, and we humans are the intruder. It was cool that we managed to snapped few pictures and some insightful briefing from the ranger. I went there when I was in secondary and it was not much different. But now they put up some noticeboard to caution people of the dos and don'ts at the area. There was also images of orang utans attacks which scares me good!

Eh no, not trying to scare you or making you to think that they are monsters. No they are not. A real wild orang utan, are quite shy and they are hard to be seen. They are almost impossible to find nearby the viewing and feeding areas. However, those that had the history of being kept in captivity or getting human touch are the ones which we should watch out. Although they are used to us, but they still have unexpected behavior. In a funny note, they were named like human such as 'Delima' and 'Annuar'!

I want to upload some pics for you to see but my laptop suddenly couldn't read my memory card. Until then, smile always! Please smile back when someone smiles at you. You just make life so much better. So smile!:)

Was Sick, But I had Cupcakes!

2010-07-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

I took my first MC yesterday due to fever and headache. But by the time the clock hit 1pm, I was quite fine already and yearning to go out.

Therefore, Superman so baik, took me to Pavilion and we watch Backup Plan. I really didn't know the sinopsis of the movie. Just that, been awhile watching JLo the Bootylicious Latino acting. Last time, she had that movie..er..what was the name? aiyahh...forgot! You know, the one with his ex-fiance. And it was a flop. I thaught this time around it should be better, aite? No! Such an uninteresting movie but scared me to death to give birth to my future child! Damn it, its horrible and I felt sick. In the movie they have this crazy group of single proud mommies. And in one scene was at a house where they gather to assist and give support to a member who was giving birth in the water. You know, without the docs what not. Purely natural. No surgery to open up the vagina at all! Wow! Arggg! Nightmare!

And this brought me to the topic, about me and Superman and the topic of getting pregnant and such.Well, I am late TWO DAYS! And Superman, gave me the LOOK already! This morning, he hugged me with a cheesy smile plastered on his face.And another hand was put on my flabby belly.And I was like...Oh god....!!Last night he suggested that if I still don't get my period by today, he's going to buy me the test kit. I freaked out. Yes ladies and gentleman, I freaked out! You do understand why am I like this do you? Remember this story? If I am really pregnant, I would be happy. But I will still freak out!

My recent dream doesn't help too. In it, I already have a tiny baby. Not sure of the gender. I went out to shop something and it went on and on until night time. And then I went back home and I forgot to feed my baby! Don't ask howcome I could leave my child at home. I don't even remember whether I have a nanny or not. Oh MY GOD!!

Now, can I be a good mommy???

What Did You Missed About Me ...recently?

2010-07-06T19:19:00.003+08:00

Do you miss me??

I do..

I mean those times when I was freaking full of ideas and couldn't wait to write and tell all the world. I don't know myself these days. I stare and stare at the screen to write something really exciting. Guess what, I lied that I completely absorbed with my work. There are some good 10 minutes or so sometimes that I really2 wanted to write something, but not even a word moved my finger.Frustrated. I went reading other people blogs instead.

So whatever happened to me?Okay, just the important ones:)

First of all, I had my most anticipated day in June. Yeah people, my belated birthday and housewarming party which happened on 26.6.2010. Although my body was strained at the end of the day, running like mad woman, making sure everything from food to deco was in order, I couldn't have asked more. It was perfect to us although it has some imperfections. Like, I forgot to pump up the baloons(actually I misplaced them and couldn't find it at all, untill after I cleared up the house!). And almost everything except the deco was not done from my home. Lucky me, my mom could cook to cater for that day. I woke up early that day, just to buy flowers at Pasar Kajang. The theme was Orange+Yellow. After I brought them home, I realized, I don't even have a vase to put them in! So they ended up in a pail. What a waste!And Wiz managed to bake the cakes and muffettes on time, of which I had to pick it up myself since she was terribly busy with her other orders and Superman had to stay at the house to receive the guests(What???!! I had to pickup my own birthday cake???!Darn!Superman, next year I ain't going to slave myself for the cake again!:( ) This year, I planned my own party, to celebrate my eldest sister,SIL and nephew birthdays as well as the housewarming party. It seemed perfect! The mixture of our friends and family seemed like a tiny wedding to me.

My humble set up, due to the lack of baloons!

Crazily nice cakes!

Birthday boy+girls

My oldest friend. Since kindie!!Now she has a lil daughter, Ms Aina.

But, the parents seems more kiddie than their own kid eh??

The party pack

The party people:) Azea, can get enough of the food! haha!

Just some of the flowers that I managed to squeeze in a lil bottle.Nice?

On Thursday the next week, I had to attend PAC, the final stage before the government decides whether you are fit to be working with them or not. Everybody was telling me to go. First of all, its a hard chance to come by. And if, only if, I succeed, I'll become one of the most highly respected government servant.With all the perks its a waste not to grab. Guess what, I couldn't make myself go!

And on last Friday, i planned a surprise birthday party for my dear boss. Complete with a big birthday cake made by Wiz! Everybody seemed like enjoying to the max with the food, candies and deco. It was a very hush hush thing. Imagine, about 100 of us, we were all crammed up in the 'huge' meeting room, in dark, while waiting for the Boss to enter. I was waiting outside. When he arrived I said something like "Boss, I need something from you. Lets discuss inside here" while I pushed open the door. And he saw his banner, and he said "Shits!" And, in a split second, his face was filled with bubble spray! What a relieved when it was all done. Again, I was lucky that mommy could cater on that day and I had some of my colleagues to help out.

I learned from all the parties that I have planned, its all about timing and budgeting. And always always have plan B. I wonder whether I should venture into party planning business shall the day came when I no longer enjoy office works. This adds up to my list : makeup, hantaran deco, baking, wall arts. What's next?

I guess that's all folks. I am still in office. I want to go back. There's still few work stuffs stacked up on the table. But I don't care. Today, I am bloody tired. Yesterday, I stayed up until 9pm, having Dominos pizza dinner at my cubicle while my eyes was on the screen and one hand typing(oops, kantoi I ate with my left hand!erk!)

So adios! Merci!

Its July feeling

2010-07-06T17:02:00.002+08:00

Notice my new template?
I don't know about this.
Personally I messed up the look real bad.

Green is never my colour. I think I'm messed up inside out. I am feeling numb.

But maybe its great...is it??

I am BAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD!

2010-07-06T15:46:00.000+08:00

Thousand apologies my dear readers for I have sinned.

I abandoned you without slightest news.

I am a bad blogger for the past two weeks,

and I wish to

end it

NOW!

PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Love ya!

MY GLORIOUS 27TH YEARS OF LIVING

2010-06-25T11:39:00.001+08:00

I am 27 y/o today.

I am taking 10 minutes of my neverending work, to commemorate ~~MJ's death~~ my Birthday.

How do I feel?

Excited.

Elated.

Happy.

Sunshine.

And

Sad Too.

Superman's outstation. Will come back only tomorrow morning.

How's that for a birthday treat?Huk huk!

Can't wait for my little party tomorrow.

I still feel bad for not being able to invite some more of close friends.

Yes, I have lots.

Am having difficult time to categorize. I hate being categorized by anyone.

So yeah, I DID NOT ~~really~~ categorize.

Thanks to those who have wished me in Facebook, SMS and even called me

to sing Happy Birthday song.

Owh I'm so touched!

I feel loved!

~Oh u know who u who you are:)~

Merci!

Note: Superman, come back with lots of chocolates please!!!!

I need my sugar fix. And only ~~mahal-mahal~~ Pretty ones will do.XOXO.

Towards Happy Times!

2010-06-18T14:25:00.000+08:00

The preparation should start now. Squeezing all the nano seconds I have everyday towards the party. I imagine fancy party, but I don't think I have enough resource in terms of time and money.

Where should I start?

What the hell. Do the list-lah!

Saviour!

2010-06-18T12:36:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Wiz again and again for agreeing

to bake the birthday cakes!

Thanks sangat2!

XOXO!

It's Not Right!

2010-06-18T11:51:00.001+08:00

I have a story or rather a thought, which I have summed up since yesterday. But couldn't find time to rant due to work overload.

Something stupid happened while I was busy and tense yesterday morning. It brought me to angry, sad and dumbfounded emotions but also, an awakening. Remember I told you about my housewarming cum birthday party to be held soon. Yes dear, very soon, next week. Saturday to be exact.(Again, I am terribly sorry for not being able to make an open invitation to all of you, lovely readers). So I ordered two birthday cakes(well, we are going to celebrate my eldest sis, sis in law and lil nephew as well as mine) from a baker in Bangi. I hate to name her. I am still pissed. And I am not a heartless moron who loves to downgrade people and crush someone else's business, especially when she is from my own native. But then, girl, if you read this, please upgrade your customer service and revoke your unfair "akad"/rules.

I am a very "vocal" person when I am upset. Well, only in writing. In person, I tend to hold my tongue unvoluntarily. Its really hard to translate my negative emotions verbally there and then.

I made a deposit which was 1/3 from the whole amount about a month before. So I thought, that should be enough and I will pay the rest COD or just before fetching it from her home.Last week she emailed a reminder. So I said of course I will pay before the day. You see, I didn't realize there was an "akad jual beli" / terms in her email before as I didn't read properly. It says I have to pay full by 20/5/2010, which was more than one month away from the event date! My excitement clouded my judgement. Classic case, huh? Okay, that could be my fault for overlooking but unfortunately, aggreeing with whatever it was, when I paid the deposit.

Rationally thinking, I wouldn't even agree to such condition imposed by her OR anyone else, selling food/service like this. Do you agree with this?;-
The product she is selling is in food category. Usually when it comes to food/service industry, its normal that the vendors ask us to pay a certain percentage of the amount and pay the rest only AFTER you experience the service or see/check the food. Think when you hire a caterer for your wedding/events, would you pay the whole amount before the event? When you eat at McDonalds, don't you check your order before you pay? And at spa or hotels, would you pay before you are being lavished with their skills and hospitality? Would you? And my argument is, why would you pay the whole amount of a cake when you can't even see your can't-wait-to-click-your-camera-and-eat-all you-want-but-sayang-coz-it's-very-enxpensive cake yet??

I became much more pissed with her when she said this to me:

"i taknak cakap byk sebab u tak faham apa itu akad jual beli"
"I don't want to say more because you don't understand what is T&C"

Shits, what more worse can I get kan? I am the customer and she could say something downgrading like that to me???!! So I did some research. I wonder whether I am what she said. And whether she really is "celik ilmu" more than me. This is what I got;

"Dalam Islam, sesuatu yang ingin dijual itu perlu wujud dan ada dalam pemilikan penjual ketika akad dilakukan.
Jika barang yang diakad tidak wujud ketika akad, ia boleh mewujudkan unsur ketidaktentuan mengenai kemampuan penjual menyerahkan aset itu kepada pembeli.
Dalam perundangan Islam, kontrak jual beli boleh menjadi akad fasid jika penjual gagal menyerahkan barang yang diakad ketika akad dibuat."-Muhammad Hisyam Mohamad, Felo Pusat Ekonomi dan Kajian Sosial, Institut Kefahaman Islam Malaysia. the link is here
(For non-muslim readers, FYI, "akad jual beli" is a T&C of purchase between vendor and buyer. This quote explains that in Islamic law, the product must be available when you do the agreement. If not, it will bring uncertainty element fo the vendor to deliver the products to buyer. In the Islamic law/Syariah, it can be anuled if the vendor could not hand it to buyer when the agreement was made. However in the service/food agreement, the vendor should not impose full payment before the product being delivered. Don't you think so??)

So, am I still tak faham by now? Please....

I am not trying to prove whether I am better than her, but I really hate it when someone can blatantly downgrade me. Watch your mouth sister!Tak sayang business ke?Word of mouth is much more powerful than you can imagine you, know!.But nah...I'd rather focus on more positive and rewarding things than continue with this bad feelings. Now that I said it out loud, peace yo!

Note: Do we have to agree with unfair T&C imposed by sellers? The ball is in your court. I am no supporter, that's for sure.

Exam Passed..now PAC???

2010-06-15T16:21:00.000+08:00

Life's less interesting today.

But I just knew that I am required to go for Program Assessment Centre(PAC) for a government post I was applying to before I join the Company. It is not easy to get into the list since applicants MUST attend a written exam. A really really long and draining exam, which I took in Putrajaya. Its wierd that they require me to wear sports attire on the registration day. I don't remember applying for any sports related positions?????So where do this requirement came from?

Now I am really torn. I enjoy working here now. Nice boss. Good learning opportunity and career advancement. The diversity and benefits are tremendous! But then again, for stability, government has always been a good choice. And their benefits are what gets jobseekers in Malaysia talking too. The thing is I worry of the low wage. I heard that the starting salary is half from what I am getting now. Still I am terribly curious about the assessment. I think I will attend to experience it. Whether I pass or not doesn't matter, right? Majority failed. This is the only time in my life I don't really care if I fail! :D

Sometimes...

2010-06-14T10:02:00.000+08:00

I am a lonely wife these days...

No Superman is not abandoning me. He left me with love~~(and money,lol!).~~ He left me for work. So I have to be strong and cherish the fact that he's doing it for us. Suddenly our condo feels so empty.The echo of water drippings became louder than ever. When he was around I sometimes feel I need my ME time. Now that he's away, it feels wierd. Nobody to fight the remote control with. Nobody to tickle. Nobody to hug before I fell asleep. I couldn't hear his loud snore. Very wierd emptiness. Last night was the first night I slept there alone:(

I miss you SUPERMAN!!

Maybe this is a good time for swimming sessions after work? Or getting sweaty in the office gym?There's no rush to go back home, except for my favourite TV series:)

Okay I don't want this somber mood of mine gets in the way of my duty. Focus Mariam!!

Constipated

2010-06-10T12:33:00.000+08:00

I ate alot, but I didn't eat proper food lately. I mean fiber rich foods. Therefore I am suffering from my self made constipation. My tummy is feeling hard. Damn.

Less caffeine which is water sucker, more fruits and vege. Yeah yeah yeahh...

My friend is getting married. Two in fact, during this weekend. I was torn which one to attend. Finally, I made up my mind. I will attend Diana's at Malacca, for her solemnization. And Ainul's for her reception, which I will be giving a speech. Fair eh? Happy Kawin Kawin dearies! Goodbyeeeeee singlehood!

Since I attended Safety Day event last Tuesday, my mind became quite alert about safety issues. I used to mock and detest everytime Papa said, "Wear your seatbelts, don't wait until you got flagged down by the traffic police!." We children always thought Papa being Mr Goody Two Shoes about it, since police were usually busy manning the traffic they didn't even realized we were not wearing seat belts! But thinking back, he was working as Safety and Health Officer. It became his second nature to be very alert about all these. Not just over reacting. Working in this O&G industry, I realized, they are SUPER concerned about health and safety issues. A rare occurence in my previous offices. Now that I had a rude awakening from the long video presentation "Remember Charlie"-about a guy who got burned 45% of his body. He said, a mistake he made for not following the safety rules at work, became a lifetime regret. One stupid mistake! All the while before that, he always thought "It's not going to happen to me" everytime he was being reminded in daily briefings. So now, I don't feel easy not wearing the seatbelts while driving!( Skema la pulak aku!)

Okay guys, worry not. Just be aware in everything you do. As the saying says, "No human is perfect." But all that we can do is, be as perfect as possible. So that we will not say "If only..." once something bad happens. Regrets will only dampen your spirit.Take care!

Need an Earphone to Listen to Lady Gaga Singing!PRONTO!

2010-06-09T10:29:00.001+08:00

I guess my eardrums are loving me these days, yeah!

The only time i'm listening to somethings else than the sound of keyboard typing and phone ringings, is outside working hours. I think I need to buy an earphone ASAP. I keep on forgetting everytime I went to the mall. Or can I request it along with my other birthday wishlist?

Hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

27th BIRTHDAY WISHLIST!

Oh now you know how old I am. Geez, I'm not they type who's scared with the age!Its just numbers to me:)

-New Laptop-

-Shopping Vouchers!(Jusco, La Senza, Topshop, etc)-

-Earphone(P.S PINK colour pls!)-

-A wristwatch-

-A green coloured handbag-

-A black coloured dinner bag/clutch-

-Bangles-

-Rings-

-Earrings-

-Necklace-

-A pretty red/chocolate colour belt-

-Makeup palettes(lip pallettes,eyeshadow pallettes,etc)-

-Scarves-

-Pretty tops-

-Unique items..what?!!-

See, its easy to find presents for girls aite? What's more, I am no Paris Hilton.

Any price will do. As long as you are sincere:)

P.S Will I ever get any of it? Oh you cutie pie, lavish me will ya?

What If Someone is YOU?

2010-06-07T09:45:00.000+08:00

I spent my Sunday, communicating with the owner of a FB profile that impersonates my BIL and sis. I am not going to deliberate the situation and the reasons.But then, its intriguing to think that someone would actually take time, energy and emotions to do all that.

I knew few other souls who unfortunately got the same situations. People would actually think its them, friends will spill their secrets, invite them to events and such.Sometimes, sexy or rather private pictures was put up. I think if you are a rational and discrete person in real life, why would you put up such pictures for the world to see right?I pray to Allah, that I would never get the same fate. I hope I didn't pissed anyone like that!And if I do, I seek your forgiveness. Spare me from all the trouble to sue you, crazy cyber criminals!

I also think, this criminals actually have Attention Deficit Disorder. Its like they want to be heard, but they don't want to blatantly tell you that. Or maybe some other forms of psychological terms. Well I ain't a psychatrist. I don't have the credibility to diagnose them. But all I know is, their souls were disturbed, and they have problems channeling their anger and frustrations or yearnings. May Allah bless them and makes the world a better place to live in. Amin...

Annoyed?No?!Yippie!!

2010-06-02T16:19:00.001+08:00

As you can see I changed to a new picture for top bar.

I can't stand being reminded of my lovely Oren everytime I view the previous pic.

But then, do you feel sick to find I am staring and smiling ~~sweetly~~ at you?

He he he....

Give me a break. It's my birthday month!!!
Yes, I am a Cancerian!
Guess, when I was born?
Morning?Noon?Afternoon or Night?
Should I start a giveaway to reward you readers?
Eyh??!...I'm the birthday girl lah!

Still Low??Schweeet!!

2010-06-02T15:05:00.000+08:00

I hate the scent of hospital.You know that sanitized scent. Usually made of Dettol vapour. This morning, when I walked into my office lobby, it was all around me.Felt a little bit dizzy, suffocated. We had another case of H1N1 this week. So nurses was stationed at every floor entrance. All must be declared fit before entering the work area, including the visitors. Disease..GO AWAY!

To support health awareness among staffs, the Company organized a health check, from weight to cholestrol level in blood was checked. The most fit person will be given a special prize tomorrow. I'm a confirmed failure. In a positive note, I have a reason to stuffed myself with sweet goodness! My blood sugar level was low, even after I had my breakfast and lunch and three big glass of sweetened drinks. I wonder why? But then, CUPCAKES, CHOCOLATES, CAKES, DESSERT....here I come! yeay!

Suddenly Monday..Owh!!

2010-05-31T15:16:00.000+08:00

My weekend flew by without me noticing. We were very busy, day and night, helping out Superman's BIL's wedding. The most anticipated event of the year AND it was filled with lots of interesting stories. A mix of emotions super packed! It made me remember my own November wedding. It brought me cry happy and sad tears all the way. I guess, it might be so wrong if all that you experience is just easiness and happiness prior your big day. All this ups and downs are what make you remember it forever. All that we should do is to try manage it as proper as possible. To all my future bride friends and readers, perfection is not everything as what seems perfect to you might not be perfect to others. But, traditions and protocols must always be your top priority. I don't know about you, but to me, a wedding without a proper guidance in these areas are best done within just your immediate family and friends. Although a marriage starts with you and your partner, its everyone involved in the process are what makes a wedding, a wedding. Just my two cents. And last but not least...SMILE!:)

At this moment, my mind is picturing myself swimming in the pool. My body needs a rest badly. I miss my FB. Owh..the momentary brain shut from work matters, ~~or rather the whole day!~~ is super nice at this moment. Once upon a time, I was on FB the whole day at work. By the time the clock hits 2pm, I wished I could go shopping! These days, I don't need shopping in the middle of the day anymore. Just FB will be enough. Ha ha!

One Month Milestone

2010-05-26T14:22:00.001+08:00

No no no definitely not about pregnancy!

Today marks my first month in this lovely huge office.

I am terribly happy. I got my first salary yesterday. And now, after quite sometime, I could really enjoy what I was paid for as now I only pay quarter of the toll and petrol from what it was since January. Parking allowance is a very welcome joy! I bought two pairs of work shoes at Vincci last night. Nothing fancy. Just to reward myself. Most of this month budget is to buy stuffs for my condo. Turns out we have alot of things but not so much of important and decorative ones.Ikea can you please give awesome discounts just for us??

If only..:D

What Is It With Baby Crying??!

2010-05-24T15:32:00.001+08:00

Okay, I know I am married for 6 month plus already.
What I am going to say is very much sensitive to all who has been asking(TQVM..i appreciate that..really!). But it also a bit depressing and annoying at the same time when I was asked, repeatedly, especially from the very same persons;

"Any good news?"

"When am I going to hear your baby crying?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Is that a baby bump on you?"

AND the worst;

"How's your love life?"

Ladies and gentleman, here I am, not so proud but quite adamantly, announcing that me and Superman is planning our first offspring. However, it might not happen so quickly. Reason being is that we are still enjoying our "married couple without babies or even pregnancy" life and strategesing our economy as well as parenting livelihood before we enter the phase. However, without hesitation, we will welcome the bundle of joy shall the almighty Allah put the trust on us if he/she comes before our honeymoon phase ends.

Truth be told, Superman would want one anytime soon. But I am not ready. I have so much on my plate to focus now. And I belief, my future son/daughter should have all my of energy and heart devoted for them even before day one. Currently, I barely able to be a completely devoted wife. Let alone a mother. I am terribly lucky that my husband is really understanding. You wouldn't want me to be an ignorant mother OR wife would you, Superman?

So please my dear lovelies, though I appreciate your kind concern, those questions, really makes me want to bang my head on the wall. Enough okay. And with due respect, if it really happens, I would tell all the world. Nobody will be spared. Till then, chill yo!

Ps. I am a proud owner of a flabby tummy.

As Expected

2010-05-18T16:10:00.001+08:00

Tuesday, the works are piling up. I hardly can breathe, let alone YM-ing. Luckily there's no access to FB here in the office.. or else, I'll get much more frustrated. Feeling disconnected to the rest of the world already.

But well, this is something expected right from the beginning. And it is way better to come to work with a clear cut purpose than waiting for work to land on your desk unexpectedly. More so yearning for some tasks to be given to you. -reminiscing the old working chapter-

Finally, I had to make an unbecoming decision late afternoon yesterday. After discussing with Azea, who was kind enough to accept Kontawt back into her cosy home so that he can grow healthily with his mom by his side, I sent him at night. With heavy heart, I spent the last moments with him while darling Superman drove. He was screaming again and again the whole journey. But, by the time he stepped inside Azea's house, he went quiete, inspecting the familiar surrounding and running happily to his siblings. Superman was in awe. I on the other hand, stoned up my heart, not letting the emotion came through. I left the newly bought cage with Ofey, Azea's sister, so that I won't be reminded of him so much. Goodbye Kontawt! May the lovely beings around you gives all the warmth and care you need.Sob sob...

I Wish I Can Eat Cupcake Underwater

2010-05-17T14:23:00.000+08:00

Since I had my first cupcake, it became a public love affair. No day I would say no to cupcake.

And last Friday I finally had my first taste of Wiz's cupcake.

Terribly delicious!I'm officially an addict!

On Saturday, I had early morning call. Its the day! Dressed in shorts and shirts, we sweat ourselves out, rearranging stuffs and all sorts of other things. The movers was kind enough to tolerate our orders from morning till late afternoon. We made two trips from Wangsa Maju-Sg Long-Setiawangsa-Sg Long since we had so many things to pick up! I slept like a baby and hate to wake up the next morning.

But, we still have tonnes of tasks to be completed. We had to do it ASAP since we have to get our place live in ready by Thursday.We are receiving our first sleepover guests! After mopping and cleaning all the kitchenwares my legs and back felt really strained. I went to the living room only to see there's a MOUNTAIN of boxes to be unpacked. Oh hell! Monday is a work day already, how can we finish them perfectly on time?? The next thing I know, the sun was already making its way to shine in the other part of the world.

I promised my dear friend Azea, to pick up her kitten for adoption by 8pm. I was pretty excited. Spent a good RM100 to buy his cage, milk, cat biscuit and sand(thinking that I only managed to buy an RM80 shoe this month:( ). To cut the story short, I arrived home, with the lil kitten(just 1 month old). I named him Kontawt(acronym of Shorty) due to his very short tail. He's all black, I could only see his eyes piercing from inside the dark cage. My heart fluttered with excitement and wary. He's so scared sitting alone without his mom and siblings, meowing at the top of his lungs! My sister who could see me and hear the deafening voice from inside the house was already contorting her face. The moment I opened the sliding door, she said "You better leave it outside!." I could sense a rejection. That follows with, "This house kan with baby...bla bla..flu, allergy, noisy,..bla bla bla...cannot eat on his own..so small...bla bla bla...who's going to feed him when you are at office?Who's going to clean his poop and urine?Send him back until he's bigger and stronger and not screaming!". My heart broke to trillion pieces.

I have to say, what she said makes sense. I thought after all the years with cats in the house, a new cat would be great after Oren left. I could feel the emptiness, a void without this fury pet animal. But the fact that he's too young and easily agitated didn't jive pleasantly. Mommy said, to adopt, it must be at least 3 or 4 months old. He still needs his mom's milk. Or else, he'll get sick easily like getting diarrhea caused by the powdered milk. I am at wits end. I want the cat so much! However, I hate to trouble my family, as well as Azea who's been taking care of him for the last month. And how can everyone sleep peacefully with him meowing non-stop? Kontawt didn't even want to drink from the container. I had to syringe fed him this morning. That makes me more convinced that he can't take care of himself yet. Oh Kontawt!!!!!!

4kg Cake!!

2010-05-14T20:13:00.001+08:00

I finally made my cake reservations with Ellie for my
housewarming+big birthday bash at the end of June!

I ordered a big cake for the birthdays of my Eldest Sis and Little SIL

and myself.erk! But I still need a cake from my BV-ians! Tak kira!

Its a rectangular cake. She told me its going to be a whopping 4kg cake!

And another special cake for lil nephew, Uwais. He's turning 4.
But his mother mistakenly told him he's 5.

So he couldn't accept that he's 4 y/o. So he's going to have '5th' birthday, twice!

My invites MUST attend to finish the cake. Seriously!

Sorry for not being able to invite each and every one of you:(

Some cupcakes are going to be delivered by Wiz on the day.

I'm supposed to pickup some of her cuppies yesterday.

But my erratic schedule(I came back home at 1am)

caused my saliva to thickened and had to postpone
my cupcakes indulgence tonight.

Wiz had to send it to my mom home herself.

Luckily her home is just 10 minutes away.

Thanks Wiz!!!

Tomorrow is THE DAY

2010-05-14T11:45:00.000+08:00

Finally , tomorrow will be the day we are transferring all the big things from the store at Superman's office, into my new condo.I miss our TV, our washing machine, our stove, our cabinets. I just miss all of them. And we are getting a few more extras from Superman's mom. Few closets, a king bed and a queen mattress. Lucky us.

Although I can't wait for the stuffs to arrive, I just hate the thought of unpacking and rearranging. I wish I am Carrie Bradshaw, rich enough to hire helpers to arrange everything from the furnitures to the napkins. Yeah, I wish. One more thing that I wish is a walk-in wardrobe with cleverly chic design. But then, to spend so much for a rented condo, seems petty. But who knows, if Superman will be lovely enough to create my "castle"? Will he? I will drop on my knees and kiss him 100 times daily for the whole week if he ever do that! Ha ha ha!

Miss You!!

2010-05-10T16:27:00.000+08:00

Hey you readers/paps/friends...(pergh perasan ade paparazi nak tau sangat pasal hidup aku!lol!)

I miss you.

Today, it felt quite overwhelming.

With works piling up. And now, my boss is back from his vacation, I definitely must amp up my serious-secretary mode:you know, pretending to be seriously engrossed with something while looking on your computer screen, hands on keyboard!;p hehehhe...

Pity Superman. His most anticipated interview this morning was cancelled. He was already there. Stupid. The hiring manager made last minute decision to postphone without acknowledging him before he reached the office. On positive note, it gives him more time to get more infos.

This morning, no, I mean everytime I was listening on radio which is on Mix.fm, I was always forced to listen to one annoyingly stupid commercial-GUOCERA TILES. Its hard to explain here. But in case you really want to hear it, turn on the station, or stream online the show here. They sound ridiculous. Very scripted and lacks personal touch from the voice talents. I think, I will have to post its record here, just so you will understand what the hell I am talking about. Anybody noticed?

I'm turned on by lemon yellow shades lately. Maybe because it is spring season. That's the idea for my housewarming party theme. I can't wait. It will happen in June, which coincides with my nephew's birthday. Actually, me, my eldest sister and my SIL as well as few friends, was born in June! Perhaps it will be a good month for celebration. Yeay!

I brought my gym pack to office today. Planned to workout after office hour. Its just in Level 1, in my office building. Available FOC for all staffs of the Company. What excuse can I give for not working out eyh?? But really, I'm kindof tired for no apparent reason. Can that be the excuse for today?:D

How are you today? Are you happy or sad? Why dear?? Talk to me: mariambdlzz@yahoo.com.sg

Absolutely Happier

2010-05-07T16:04:00.001+08:00

Today is a good day. Less work. Bosses not around.

I'm spending my time looking at beautiful things for my house deco. Trying to figure out how to spend lesser for the same look I am going for. This is the challenge when you love to live in style with small pocket. Well at least it makes me more crafty. Unfortunately, Superman's not in the same page. He prefers to keep it simple and practical.

I imagine a colourful house. With happy+edgy wall arts. I hate those sickening abstracts that you don't exactly understand but it cost you a bomb. I prefer fresh flowers. Maybe orchids. But I'm scared that it won't last long. I have the knack to forget important things like watering the plants. My cactus died. A big laughing stock for Superman. I tried to coax him to buy me fishes/rabbits/cats after that. You name it. But my cactus history became a quick decision factor. In the end, I don't have a pet now. And I really really really miss having a pet since Oren left(In my mind, he's still alive).Okay I'm gonna weep now. Friday is the day he left. I am still mourning on my own. Jeez, I don't want to feel sad. This entry is supposed to be a happy entry!

Mariam, brace yourself!

Yesterday, I picked up the curtain for the living room we ordered. Set me back about RM 400. Damn. But I know its going to worth every cent. Right? Sometimes, its nice when we found ourselves agreeing on the same thing on the spot like when we decide the colour and type of curtain to use. I love you Superman. Please agree in everything next time ya. You pay. Ha ha!

Next mission

(TOP PRIORITY):

One king mattress(which one's better?Getha?Dunlopillow?what else?)

Lots of pillows

Lots of cushions

Few beddings-Queen and King

Toilettries

~~Kucing~~

~~Rabbits~~

~~Fish~~

~~Orchids~~

Wall Art

bla bla bla

Today, I am taking inspirations from:

Urban Outfitters

Lovely Clusters

Can't wait can't wait:)

Pizza Filled Tummy

2010-05-05T16:16:00.000+08:00

My imaginary flat tummy is now bloated with 3 types of pizzas consumed over lunch,

after eating a plate of chicken rice.

And there's another box. Got it FREE.

Its a bliss+hazard=bliszard?? of my work.

Leftovers from meeting. We, staffs are well fed. Totally.

I just wish we have gym allowance.

(wah..sudah bagi betis nak peha pulak!)

Wierd, I just can't stop eating.

Exhausted of..

2010-05-04T21:55:00.000+08:00

MONEY

CUPCAKE

LOVE

Need extra,

with no priority in order.

All need

NOW!

BRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

2010-05-03T16:13:00.000+08:00

My office is super cold. I should have worn snow jacket with fur trimmings on the hood! Even the mat sallehs are wearing jackets. Lol!

Just want to blab about my eventful weekend.

I missed two of my friends weddings :( ,but I got myself a place to call home. Hehe. Yes, the agreement was sealed. Only then I realized, there's only two units, including mine, which is occupied. 8 units on each floor. We checked that the units above, in front, side and below of ours(corner unit) are not occupied. This place is really quite new. Bloody hell. Spooky! Superman, was smiling when we learnt about it. He knew that I'm scared of..you know, arghh...don't want to say it out loud. I have a very high level of imagination. Sure as hell I don't want to sleep there all on my own over night. I'll drive to mum's place, which is 10 minutes away. You bet!

Shopping with no money was really stressful. My salary was still not banked in during the weekend. But we had to buy few stuffs before we move in such as the curtains. Armed with the meagre leftover and credit card, we went shopping for them. Damn, the pretty ones are really expensive. And my heart was pumping with wants and frustrations. Luckily I got Superman to set me straight to shop with practicality comes as number one. Besides, this is just for the purpose of renting. Therefore, expect something lesser in quality but rich in style:) oh ya ya ya...(trying to soften my heart).

Big congrats to Mrs Daniah & Mr Badrul for finally made it to the altar. May Allah bless both of you with health, happiness, wealth and lots lof babies together:)

I LOST 10KG in A WEEK!!!!!!

2010-05-03T08:51:00.000+08:00

Now...

I can wear my last year's jeans already.

Can shop size L shirts for work.

My face is more sculptured.

Can see my hip bone.

I look sexier in my underwear.

Flabby arms no more.

My short shorts screaming for my name.

But...

This was just in MY DREAMS last night.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

It is Weird to Say Hello?

2010-04-30T13:10:00.002+08:00

The fifth day in this Company, I still don't feel settled.

I thought, sitting in my own private room in my old offices, which is of course totally comfy, is a relationship barrier with officemates. An invisible wall. But perhaps I was wrong. I used to easily warmed up within few days with my new found colleague.

I thought now sitting in a low-rise cubicle should speed up the ice breakers within few hours. Hell no! Right next to me, there's a cute mat salleh guy(Superman, he's just cute, but totally not my type..don't worry). He came in the office yesterday after his offshore duties. And now, after one and a half day, both of us never said a word to each other. Both didn't know each other's names. I don't even know what he's doing. This is bad. I blame it on my part too.

My brain was freezed. I couldn't recall names. I couldn't recall what their positions are. I can only recall their faces. OMG! And my mouth couldn't start a decent conversation. I feel like an idiot! I always imagine this very me right now, are the kind of people which has very low self esteem, thus, very shy and always sit at the far end corner or refuse to participate in social events. I am so not that kind of person. Well, at least as far as I am concern. Since when did I have this 'very low' self esteem?!! This frustrates me like nobody business. Its like a new kid trying to fit in a new school. I am not trying to be the popular girl. I just want to fit in nicely, without any drama.

But i'm lucky that most people here are very nice. I haven't seen nasty remarks been made about anybody yet. Still figuring out the social hierarchy and the office culture here. Maybe, it takes a cuppa coffe with my mates to extract the topics. It seems like they don't do gossip on the floor. That's very good!The girl that I'm taking over the place has been serving the project for two years at least, thus the most senior secretary. And i'm the greenest newbie. There's at least 15 more secretaries, I think? I wonder how I'm cut out for the role. Big change, big responsibilities indeed. But if i'm hired, means the Management trusts me so much aite? Whoaaa! Pressure is ON!

Update on the condo-hunting: Found another vacant unit in the same condo. Tonight, we will be meeting the owner. Praying hard, the same stupid thing not to happen again.:) Aishah...lil Sara can come and play! yeay!

Few More Hours, Please!

2010-04-29T09:06:00.001+08:00

I found that my life has been a routine.

My morning starts at 6:30am, if you doesn't count the multiple alarm snoozing I made until the clock strikes 7am:) I took my shower and I had to get ready by 7.30am. After having my breakfast lovingly prepared by my Papa or Mummy, I hit the road by 7.45am for work.Work starts at 8.30am, ends at 5.30pm. I usually took dinner by 8pm. And by 9.30pm my eyes automatically enters pre-shut down mode. I rarely hit the bed after 1030am. Still, sometimes I felt that I didn't have enough sleep. And the cycle repeats itself 5 days a week.

I found it hard to break.

Maybe my body is not as fit like I was in university. Back then, I could wake up before 6.30am, did my morning prayers, hit the lake behind my college for a morning walk or run. And sometimes I went for swimming, at least thrice a week. No doubt, I was about 15kg lighter than now. Maybe life was simpler back then. I have breaks between classes. I was less stressed up. Money is not really an issue. No bills to pay under my name.

What should I do now?

p/s : Why the hell I became a whining bitch these few days?? Maybe I'm getting my period? Hrmmh..what a curse..oh no...its the hormones! Damn you hormones!

Another Round of UPSET!!!

2010-04-28T14:12:00.000+08:00

Why oh why!!! Why bad luck's looming around me!!

Just got a text msg from the unit owner of the condo I was talking about;

"soli, cik mariam, pls to inform that my unit is unavailable for renting, as informed by my agent on yesterday, there is a client has confirmed n also has paid all the payments..thus today appointment have to cancel.. soli and thx"

What the fuck?? oh sorry... WTF?(lembut sket nampaknye)

We were waiting to meet her to sign the agreement and pay, after work today. I am quite excited. That, crushed me to the core.

Superman told me that we will still try to find other units. No matter what. F her!

It Should Be a Lovely Morning...Always..

2010-04-28T11:33:00.000+08:00

I was still feeling sore from the event last night. My anger still haven't fully dissipate by the time I woke up. Decidedly, the 8 hours beauty sleep did make wonders. I felt somewhat calmer and ready to face the day. How I wish it was like yesterday's morning, every single day of my life. How I wish, I end my day with smiles like I was on honeymoon recently. How I wish.

I think, this won't bring any happiness if it is prolonged. I mean, sulking. I am easy to forgive people. But to forget is never easy.

I am not a perfect person myself. Being human we are blessed with emotional and intellectual capacity to learn from mistakes and improve ourselves. I also know that every changes we are trying to make needs time. After all we don't mature in one day. It takes years and years. Just that, if we don't want to change just because we choose to follow our ego, stopping ourselves from understanding the actual issue and continue blaming every other person all the time, how far do you think everyone will tolerate?

I know this entry is no fun. Its too serious for your liking. I am sorry. However it teaches each of you readers to have an open mind. Question yourself first before you start blaming others. Use kind words if really what you mean is good. I just don't get it when some says harsh words or actions, in the name of love. What's the rationale is there?

Negative=Positive.

Mismatched equation isn't it?

Terribly Hurt

2010-04-27T21:40:00.000+08:00

This is a sad+angry+ashamed entry.
If YOU read this, please understand with all your heart.

You are everything to me.
You makes the world a better place to live in.

But then it all change now.

And I am hurt by your words, your voice, your gesture.
Undeniably, enveloped by your fury and clouded your judgement.
I don't understand why it has to be that way.
Did I not try? Did I not try many times?
Why can't you be a calmer person?
Why can't you think before you say things?
Am I not worth your respect?
Am I not everything to you?
Am I??

Today is Definitely Different!

2010-04-27T15:06:00.000+08:00

I think Allah heard my prayers last night.

Today at office is very very nice. Still no works yet. But at least;

1) My desktop is set up. I have access to everything except SKYPE, FB, FS and MYSPACE. At least I can blog, blog hopping and chat on YM! yeay!!

2) I made friends! Not just one or two, but additional 9 person today. Hehe. We even went out for lunch at the Mines. They all just received their salary, whereas I am still waiting for the golden call from the old office. Big chance I can only enjoy the cash next week:(

Last night, Superman told me that his mum and little sister will stay with us at our new place until their new house in Klang complete its renovation. The current house has been sold and they have to move out by middle of May. That could be a good three months. Did you hear hesitation coming from me? To be frank I am quite nervous. I am usually good with people. But I am not sure about in laws especially MIL living together. But thinking that Superman is currently living with my family since January, and he seemed perfectly jived in, I think I should accept the situation with open heart. Yes Darling, I'll do it for you and to test myself. At least I have a nice swimming pool to relax shall I need a time out(but am feeling shy to wear my almost naked swimsuit with them around. A reason to shop for cover ups??Huhu).

O&G, so what??!

2010-04-26T19:00:00.000+08:00

Today marked my first day working as part of Malaysian O&G industry. Am I proud of it? YES. Why? Because its hard to breakthrough. And I made it. Alhamdulillah.

But, I was so curious why majority of people was so gung-ho about it.

The answer arrived in the form of written texts, that is, the T&C for Local Employees from the Company. OMG. Helluva of greatness!! Staffs are paid bonus if they stay with the company for at least 3 years! Talk about motivation for staying in the very same environment for such a long period of time. And other benefits are too good to be true in early Monday morning. I already made a promise to myself to stay focus and be positive. Come what may! :)

However, my first day is not glorious or energetic. My boss is overseas until next week. His secretary(she was transferred to a different department) who is suppose to handover to me was on MC. The desktop was not prepared by the IT officer. In the end I spent RM20.50 to buy magazines to fill up my day. By 4pm, I finished reading all of them, and went to the reception to borrow the newspapers. My neck was all strained. I didn't make any friends yet. Went to lunch alone. Everybody was so busy doing their works. Nobody was gossiping or on Facebook(still not sure whether it is allowed or not). There were about 200 people on the floor. Wonder whether everybody knows each other? I text Superman and few buddies every now and then. The environment was so different when I worked in ASTRO. One thing good about big companies like this is, everybody mind their own business. Good to focus on your job. But really, is it really healthy to be all about work at workplace? Aren't we all human?

What's your worst experience at workplace?? Tell me.

Perhaps, tomorrow will be a better day:)

p.s : I still love condo. Superman, please change your choice. I love you:)

CONDO vs 2-STOREY HOUSE

2010-04-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

We are in the midst of searching for our love pad. Its a tough decision since we have very different tastes and yeah..limited budget. As next week I am starting my new job at an O&G company in the Mines, whereas, Superman still working in Setiawangsa, we need to find someplace located in the middle. Nice as well as easy to access. We don't fancy living in jungle:) Currently or at least until next year, we decided to rent. After selling our Kemuning house, it seems like every other options seemed pathetic. Nothing yet that screams BUY!!!!!!! Pathetic pockets of ours as well as pathetic housing options either by location or design or both.

But we can't be giving up so soon aite? What's more now that we are living temporarily with my mom in Kajang. Never a definite choice for a newly weds like us! I became somewhat lazy and uninspired. And its a bad thing to show off to my dear hubby. Geez!!

This morning we went for house viewing at Sg Long, Kajang. One of the best choice in terms of location. Price-wise, ermmhh, so-so. Didn't expect it to be priced that high! So who says Kajang is no contender?! So firstly, we viewed a condo property, Greenview Residence.

pic from iProperty

Really nice kan???

I immediately fell in love. Especially for the fact that it have a swimming pool! My knees went weak, so as my heart. And it was breathtaking! Actually that was the first reason I wanted the property so bad! Even the unit has a really nice view+big space. The security, superb. Very calm and clean environment. I don't see any reason for us to say No. Not even a slight 1% No. The rental price, just a tad RM150 more from our original budget. Hubby was not really keen. As expected. Ha ha!

The next property, was a 2-storey terrace house at Palm Walk. I realized that a good percentage of the properties in Sg Long was built with brick face walls. Easy maintenance. Just use water jet to clean up the surfaces! Hehe..I tried to open up my mind. The rental is cheaper.

pic from iProperty

But I almost jumped out of joy for the fact that the design was a bit silly! Maid's room as huge as the kitchen?! Yes, I can see myself swimming in the condo pool already! And finally, Mr Superman had to agree for the number one choice. Yeay!!!!!

But then, what is your choice for house to buy?

CONDOMINIUM vs 2-STOREY TERRACE

What's your take?

And why?

Still Feeling Like Vacationing!

2010-04-20T11:13:00.000+08:00

On the way to the office this morning, my brother and I was talking about vacationing.

P.s We are so perasan. Both lack the funds. But we have big dreams. LOL!

Feels like going to Bandung again. For a real shopping adventure.

But when?? Anybody care to sponsor? ha ha ha.

Getting To Know Myself Better

2010-04-20T11:05:00.003+08:00

Quiz result from Prevention.com
Softball..cool..but I don't have friends playing softball.

Volleyball..used to play for school.

Soccer..futsal maybe?

Dance classes..been meaning to join..hip hop or salsa??

Water aerobics..hrmh...sounds cool...low impact..

Martial arts..can I do it without my back pain acting up? I really miss kicking!

Trail running..never a fan of running

Swimming..always always!

So..where can I learn Tai Chi in Kajang??

Penang...Land of Stories...My Stories...

2010-04-20T10:26:00.000+08:00

The first time I was living on my own, was in Penang. It was in 2001, fresh out of school. I received offer to continue my study in Penang Matriculation College in Kepala Batas. I hated the study part. But I love every minute of the freedom I got. That was when I had a really special adventures with my mates. Some still in good contact to this day including my ex-bridesmaid, Hannah and my ex-room mate, She @ Kambing, and my ex-housemate, Azea, as well as few others. And that's where I met my first ex-boyfriend. A total opposite of me. I don't know how or what makes me attracted to him. Maybe, the hormone was doing its 'thang'. haha! We spent alot of time cruising the Penang Island. Jetty rides. Bukit Mertajam. Komtar. It was all our craze. I even sneaked out of the college, early in the morning, to go to Sg Petani, to buy him a perfume for his birthday..or was it Valentine? I don't remember. Me and my room mates was chased by the guard up to the nearby Kampung when we sneaked out in broad daylight to go to Bukit Mertajam to celebrate one of our birthday at Pizza Hut. It was just a reason to go out. She was left behind when the bus that me and Farzy took, drove away before she even reach its back. But being so united, we waited for her to arrive at the bus station. Those were crazy days.

And I made few clubbing night getaway in Penang, when I was studying in UUM, Kedah. We were so deprived of city scene and entertainment, that we drove all the way to the island. Thinking how energetic I was, made me want to get back to my old shape. While writing this down, I glanced through the Prevention website on how to tone up and lose weight. I'm at least 15 kg heavier since I left university. Sedentary lifestyle and easy access to fancy food is really not a good thing!

Last weekend, I went back to this special island for honeymoon getaway with my loving husband, Mr Superman. His kampung is in Penang too. So we were not so excited to go to the tourist attractions. We chose to spend more time in the hotel itself. Enjoying each other company so much. The weather was really good. Superman had a blast watching bikini clad girls. Whereas I could only see awesome beach boys swimming in the pool in front of our room, on the last hours before we checked out. Damn. Where have they been all the while I was there?! Darlings, I am not going to bore you more n more with words. I'll upload the pictures later ya. By the way, the money we paid for the Honeymoon Package at the Hard Rock Hotel in Feringhi, worth every single cent. The hospitality was above par. Its a 4 star hotel serving like a 5-star.

Do Not hesitate...

2010-04-14T11:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's lunch time, I was joking with my colleague who is the PA of my boss about her weird tantrums. It turns out, she's choked with the situations that is becoming more apparent. Well, we were deliberating on how is it a person stops being a normal person, because of the job. At first, I thought my dear friend is a very perfect PA, since she seems so focused on the work, never really inserting her emotion and takes all the unbecoming situations as part of the job. Finally, she let me in her thoughts. I discovered, she's a normal person after all. But she tried not to think negatively, to keep her motivation intact. She has a daughter. Funny where a good meal lead us. So I said. "Dear, you have enough motivation, which is your daughter. I pray for the best of you while working here. But do not let the boss use you only to her advantage. Be firm. Don't be like me. Its hard for me to say no even though I hated it. If you are having problems, please do not hesitate to chat with me about it. I'm going to miss you, big sister." Yeah she's older than me.

Nothing Is More Important!

2010-04-13T20:55:00.000+08:00

Laundry? no!
Dinner? no!
Calling dear Superman? no!
Charging my hand phone? no!
Sleep? Definitely no!

But yes to

Sex and the City re-runs!

Its sexy,its real. It teaches me how to be sexy and seduce my husband. Its for the good right?? Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. ahahaha!Although not in a traditional Asian way:) And I dream of being fabulous and hot in 10 years to come. Maybe hotter than now. Favourite character: Samantha. But who I really am? 80% Carrie. 10% Samantha.8% Miranda. 2% Charlotte. Warning for SATC newbies: Watch it with open mind. Be as Western-minded as you can. La la la!

Another FAT issue!

2010-04-13T10:24:00.000+08:00

I left this part in the last entry.

Since this is going to be a beach holiday, I tried to find the most skimpy outfit to wear. And I missed my short shorts. Not that I have great legs. I always have thunder hips and all. But being by the seaside, will automatically makes me feel sexy. It always did. So I rummaged through my clothes boxes(yes, we haven't properly settled in my parents house). Found the treasure. Yeay. Out of nowhere, I felt like trying them on. 1..2...3...Bloody hell!!!! It was so tight!! On early last year, it was very loose. I even had to wear them with belts on! Now, I hardly can zip them up. Shitty shitty shitty!! So this morning, I woke up, feeling down at the sight of the shorts. I quickly put them in the box back. Together with all the short, tight fitting and sexy attires which I have avoided lately, out of shame and sickening social life since moving in with my parents.

Today, is a very very very unhappy, demotivated, sickening day. Feels like shopping. But can anything fit me now?? I don't want, don't want, don't want to go to the PLUS SIZE section. No no no no no no!!!!

P/S: Launching war against fat laden foods, in my mind.

Why is the Clock NOT ticking??

2010-04-12T23:50:00.003+08:00

At least that's how I feel. Its 11.36p.m. Just finish packing up my stuffs for our Penang getaway. Super excited. Got myself a brand new goggle for the trip although my old one is perfectly fine. I just don't know why. I think I should have grab a new sunnies or hat instead. In my dreams since I just blew away my tiny budget. Was thinking of carelessly shopping beach dresses at the Ferringhi.

But then, I'm not going there so soon. Superman's going to drive up there first on Wednesday, early morning. I'm not going to see him until Thursday at Penang airport since he will start his journey there from his mom's home in KL.Starting to miss him already. Full of anticipation!

Annoyingly though, my boss haven't sign my UNPAID LEAVE form I submitted 2 weeks ago for this holidays. I don't care. I'm going anyway as she won't pay my leaves regardless if it is sick leave. Still weighing my options to complete my 3 days next week. My heart's completely thrown out of the office. Now, I regret why I was so baik hati to come back to the office after I got my last pay. I worry that she won't pay me for this month if I don't come back to the office again later. Its going to be a wasteful journey then. And I will have major problem to pay up my bills at the end of the month should she decided to get back at me. So, should I continue being baik hati or take the plunge??

Knowledge At Its Best

2010-04-12T12:01:00.000+08:00

Truth is, sitting in front of computer all day long is an ideal job for me. However, my body is not designed for that as I'll feel restless, like something is not properly done looming in my head. I need to get out, see the world, and have fun with life. That is why I quit graphic designing as my day job. I turned into secretarial instead. Hoping to be able to meet numerous types of people and also hoping to stumble upon a boss who requires me to travel, giving a chance for me to see the world, all expense paid. However, that has yet to become a reality.

Today, I'm watching Sex and the City reruns to kill off my time in the office.Immersing myself in Carrie Bradshaw's life as a writer, I'm feeling in love with the lifestyle. So free and yet so grounded. I always believe your career is your lifestyle. We can't really separate our 9 to 5 life and outside the office. Somewhere somehow, especially when your are a workaholic, it will continually intertwined. But being a writer like her, you write your life observations. It is really real. I wonder if something like that is meant for me. Writing in this blog, is already halfway from what it is. Just that, I am not getting paid. Have I wasted my time greatly? Is it time to have a career switch, again? Maybe the biggest question is, do I really have what it takes??

On a completely different story, I went to this blog, and found few interesting new words to my liking. I now knew that I am an ailurophile. And I have an effervescent persona. And I am a never a lissome girl. I need an elixir to lift up my spirit! he he...word is power!

It Ain't Laughing Matter Anymore..

2010-04-11T23:04:00.000+08:00

I just came back from my outing with Mr Superman, alone. While I'm writing this, he's still at office. Yes, my outing today, ended up in his office. Not so bad though. Earlier on, I went to my best friend's niece's birthday party. So my tummy was stuffed to the max!

Well, when I reached home just now, I found myself in deep conversation with my mommy, sis and papa. Its about my aunty's behavior (see this entry) the other day. It irks me so much! To this day, it kept replaying in my mind. Very annoying. I hope by writing this out will makes me feels a whole lot better, if not settled.

One thing you must know about me is, I am not a pious Muslim.

My family on the other hand, is a firm believer to uphold as much as possible the pillars and syariah rules of Islam. I applaud that all the time, no problem. However, this very aunty I'm talking about, is a bit more extreme, and expected me to be at least in the same league as my family.

The issue here is, are you a better Muslim when your mouth can't stop criticizing other Muslims who's not outwardly speaks or act or personify Islam in her appearance? Do you really have the right to say such hurtful, demeaning words? Really, are you a better Muslim then??

Personally, I never feels so for those people. Justifying people just like that? Isn't that our prophet Muhammad, lead by example? Well, that should apply to anyone, right? How can you expect people to be perfect when you can't project your own perfection, right? Oh just because you are covering from head to toe prays 5 times daily, reads the Quran and doesn't watch Channel E! and big fan of Channel Oasis on Astro, you have the rightful qualification to undermine the less pious Muslims brothers and sisters through your vocal and gaze? All that I can say is, you are downright moron!

Well, fret not, I'm not really really angry. I'm just, annoyed. Never mind then. Now that I have let it out, I think I can slowly let it go. After all, I will encounter this kind of people everywhere. I hope with the education that we have got, we can think with better mindset. Lets not limit our scope of relationships by the appearance, gender, sexual preference, ethnicity, skin colour or even religion. After all, we are all human. Lets embrace our freedom to mix with each other. At least, when we are in Malaysia:)

p.s : Its Sunday night. And I am dreading the Monday morning!!!

Special question : Will you change your appearance when your partner does not like what you are wearing just because he don't like it, even though it is not hideous and nobody ever complained your style?? Is it a sin to continue wearing things you like after you know he doesn't like it as you are feeling comfortable???

Will I DO It Again??

2010-04-11T12:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's Saturday is one of my worst Saturday in life. I had to go through long hours of exam papers for the sake of a PTD position in the government. I didn't know whether the questions were actually hard or for the fact I didn't study for it makes it hard. But I think I did pretty well. But well, I wouldn't put on ANY hope for it. Thousands of other Malaysians was having it too. Scattered all over Malaysia.

Overheard a conversation between few girls outside of the hall after the 2nd paper(Maths).

Girl 1: It was hard, wasn't it?The maths sucks. I didn't have enough time to answer all! (phew...not only me then?)
Girl 2: Yeah, last time it was harder!Even the first paper makes me cringe. Hehe...Been through few times...This time is easiest. (Really????!!)
Girl 1: Is it???? Oh my. How many times have you tried this paper??
Girl 2: This is my 3rd. (Huh??I felt like giving up already!)

My brain was over fried by the time I finished it at 4:20pm. But it was fine when I saw Superman downstairs waiting for me. Ha ha..

So...will I do it again?? NO.

Exam Fever!!

2010-04-09T10:54:00.000+08:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I have SPA(Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam) exam tomorrow morning. How laaa??? I haven't prepared anything out of laziness and not interested in it at all. I applied before I got my new job. Out of desperation and my family and hubby was so gung ho about working in government agencies. Its all because of the stability and benefits it offers. I am going , just so I won't get blacklisted in the future, just in case I suddenly feels like working with the government.

Tomorrow, I have few other things to attend. Promised Hannah to accompany her to buy some fabrics at Jalan Tar. And me, Superman and her are going to the tailor. The next thing will be my friend's birthday at Red Box Pavilion. 80's themed party. Aiyaaa..what should I wear???I think I don't have anything appropriate in my wardrobe. Reason to shop? But ain't got no money! Must buy present also!

Let today be a nice short day. :)

Can't Wait Can't Wait!!

2010-04-08T14:09:00.000+08:00

In half hour I'll be having a site meeting. Something I hate to do really. But I ain't say no to amp up my resume. You see, how is it an Executive Secretary is handling a bungalow project management? Outstanding? Yeah. But hell, gotta do lots of convincing every time I go for interview, that I actually have that experience.

I keep on counting the minutes for the day to end. To kill the time, I watch tvshack.net. Awesome. Like a cinema in your laptop. My brain n heart ain't here with me. Struggling hard to focus. 10 more days to go without the weekends. And next week I'll work less 2 days. I'm going to Penang with Superman. Contemplating whether to really complete the balance of 3 days after that. I don't see the point since I might complete my handover already by then. I'm getting paid by day anyway. Gotta nego with the boss. 10% chance she might let me go earlier. Will she??? Ha ha ha...

DON'T JUDGE will you??!

2010-04-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

Just arrive home from work.
My aunty was around, visiting my mom.

Me: Assalamualaikum. Hi, how are you?
Aunty: Eh pakai skirt? (with cursory-looking-at-prostitute kindof look)
Mom: Dia kan orang putih.

Aku confused. Oh Mommy...what kind of answer is that?

Aunty, just because I don't wear big scarves and socks all the time like your daughter does, doesn't mean I'm bad!

DO NOT!!

2010-04-05T17:20:00.000+08:00

Do not think of food now Mariam!!

Its only 5:19pm.

Oh my..this hormone doing its weird thing!

Rusty Me

2010-04-04T10:59:00.001+08:00

Lately been feeling my slipped disc is coming back again. Maybe because of the fact I sat in the car for quite a long time daily, driving to work. Last Thursday and Friday, I took 2 days MC. Called up my boss to inform. Hoping for her to understand. Instead, I got harsh accusations and threat of legal action if I don't come back to work to perform the balance of my one month service(13 more days!). Evil boss indeed!

Put that aside..I really miss being active. Most of the things that I love to do is forbidden right now. I love fast paced workouts like kick boxing. I love kicking so much. Ha ha. I'm not a fan of long run or jog. But right now, I would kill to do it, but hoping for zero pain afterwards. Doc advised me to do alot of swimming and yoga. Swimming, yes! Yoga? Oh no! Not really my cup of tea.;p Nowadays anything I do, I mean, not just for exercise, even for daily task, must be very low impact. I'm feeling so Ah So...a.k.a old aunty already!

But I read in an article, when you are having daily pressure from your life or work, your pain will be much more apparent. I couldn't disagree.

Over blown Anger!

2010-04-02T11:22:00.000+08:00

Some people just won't content to accept things at face value because they are always suspicious of underlying motives. It makes things difficult and affects human relationship as it definitely spells TRUST ISSUE.

And my boss is suffering of that.

And I'm trying my best to restrain myself from saying something that I will regret later.

But she's annoying me to the max!

And somehow I believe she kindof enjoy making people suffer under her power.

But hell she won't admit it as she thinks she's a very compassionate down to earth person.

Well she was until I handed over my resignation letter.

DAILY MENTAL TORTURE.

Miss All Them

2010-03-30T12:00:00.000+08:00

p.s they are not my kids.

But I love them with all my heart. Especially the BIG kid.:)

True

2010-03-30T11:18:00.000+08:00

Today, I mean..since yesterday, my blogger friends and those blogs I love to read so much, didn't update their entries. And even if they do, many lacks enthusiasm. At least that's how I feel. Is everybody feeling the same as me?

Is it out of laziness OR nothing to write

OR their life has became somewhat somber?

My own life ain't colourful enough these days. Besides happy news on my new job, I had to accept my cat's not coming back. My husband is outstation for a week. Miss poking him here and there especially when he's watching TV. Yes, I am very touchy2 girl. I hate the traffic on the way to work. I also found that from Monday to Friday, given any week, sure as hell will be repetitive. And I can't wait for the weekends.

Well, it's not a big deal. Its very grown up. Almost everyone is going through the phase. Just that, I don't feel content.

SLOW Monday

2010-03-29T17:21:00.001+08:00

For the first time, I managed to doze off about an hour after lunchtime at office today.

Pure bliss!

My boss ain't stomping into the office today. She's having bronchitis. Maybe that's the reason I'm feeling this relax. Not purposely. It just crept in without my knowing.;p

Listening to Kris Allen's- Live Like We Are Dying on hitz.fm, I felt a sense of urgency to fill my life with good intentions in everything I do and makes people around me feels proud of my doings instead otherwise. How can a person be so perfect? Can we actually live without negative emotions? And always be so forgiving even if he/she was subjected to terrible wrongdoings by others? I always hear and tried to instill in my life this saying,"To live is to forgive and forget." But somehow it sounds so idealistic. Right? Forgive, maybe. Forget, no way! I know how my brain works. Bad things always get replayed even when I didn't ask for it.

I'm getting married again!!!!

2010-03-26T17:57:00.000+08:00

Yes...u heard me...

IN FANTASY!

hahahah...gotcha!

Well actually, I'm quite excited to go to diahlicious's event tomorrow. I'm suppose to prepare namecards or rent a booth to garner the attention of the participant for my Hantaran business. I'm all for it. But since I'm joining the Company soon, I hesitated. I have yet to determine how I can spend so much time for that once I start working with them. No point I'm taking so much order, but I can't perform, and my future customers might become frustrated and spread out bad stories about my business and name, right? So, for the time being, I'll just take only one order per month for at least until June this year. I have 2 orders already for May & June. Yeay!

Mommy, he's really GONE..

2010-03-26T10:13:00.001+08:00

Breakfast in the morning, I had a conversation with mummy;

Me: Mommy, today means exactly two weeks Oren didn't turn up...

M: Yelah, he's really not coming back. He died.

Me: Mommy, he's really gone. (Felt like crying already). I miss him. But I told my friend, I want one of her new kitten. Her cat is giving birth soon. I'll take the cat a month after that.

M: Okay. Make sure you get a male cat.(kesian females!bias betul mommy ni)

Surprising

2010-03-25T16:20:00.000+08:00

My boss and I finally sat down and talk about my resignation.

I can understand why she's upset. Because its all very sudden to her. I pity her for having to find a new replacement so soon.

Somehow, we managed to have a calm discussion. Isn't it better if she's always like this. Well, maybe partly because she lost her voice due to sore throat. Still, she haven't confirmed my last working date. But definitely it will interfere my honeymoon planning. Damn!